get through my quarter-life crisis

Tomorrow is the big day and I’ve made no concrete plans for it. Obviously I knew it was coming so today I checked on one day trips but nothing appealed to me. Celebrating in a restaurant with family or a day at the spa?—nada. I considered getting a new look at the beauty salon but the idea of spending precious hours there is a turn off. I considered putting the dog in the kennel and taking off for a few days with destination unknown…still a possibility.

So how will I celebrate turning 65 which is a big accomplihment. I’m still active and young looking. Want something memorable..any ideas from the ‘older crowd?”

It’s getting a little easier, but not much.
I wonder how long this will last?

I’m turning 18 this September and I’m dreading it.

I’m so sorry that people have to go through this, but at the same time I am so glad that I am not alone. I just turned 27 not too long ago and shortly before my birthday it hit me. i have always had thoughts about life and death and how short life really is, but i could cope with it before. Now its like i have just began to really understand it and it scares me so badly. I don’t understand the sudden change.

The stress of it all has given me an uncontrollable fear of death as well as a constant thought of “I’m going to wake up tomorrow and I’m going to be an old woman”. i know life goes by fast and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, i just wish i new how to cope with the fears. The depression this is causing is making me feel as if I’m on the outside looking in watching each year pass in the blink of an eye. If a quarter life crisis is this bad I would hate to see how the others are going to go for me. I always thought of myself as a pretty strong person, but things like this make me wonder. Of course the fact that all of my friends are either in Iraq, or just living in different states makes things harder to deal with for the simple fact that I don’t have any one to vent to other than people online.

I always laughed at people when they talked about having a mid-life or quarter-life crisis, but now I understand and feel like a dope for being such a jerk. It is a true crisis and it takes a lot of courage to deal with one. It also takes a lot of strength to make life decisions while having a crisis, because at that point you just want everything to be perfect so you don’t have any serious regrets, but we all know it can’t be perfect because life isn’t perfect. I should have become a psychologist so i could have a better understanding of how the mind works and how to cope with moments like these.

I’m a bit younger than most people experiencing this but…

I’m graduating high school soon and I’ve decided not to go to college. I’m being critized from anyone and everyone who has somehow heard of my decision, as if it’s there business and they make me feel like I will never amount to anything.

In reality, I don’t know what I’m going to do after finishing my academic career.

I really want to just get married and start having kids right off the bat. But life doesn’t work like that and sometimes I feel I should just become a nun which makes me even more depressed.

I’ve just come to the realization how short life is and, well, I feel as if I’m wasting away right now and by not going to college, I’ll waste away even more years (that’s only if I don’t get married soon).

I feel extremely guilty about deciding, also, not to work out in the business world. There’s no money coming in from my side. (This is because I’ve decided to stay with my parents and help with the housework inside, though.)

I’ve lost the majority of my friends in recent years. In fact, I really don’t have any friends right now, as for the past couple of years, I’ve decided to soley concentrate on my family and academics. Resulting in the loss of nearly all social interactions outside of my family.

Perhaps all this is just the result of the shock of my first real CHANGE in life. I’ve always lived in the same place, had the same friends, done the same things, gone to the same places, etc etc.
Now everything is different and I miss EVERYTHING!

Ah, well.

Maybe one day I’ll just get over it. Life goes on, you know?

not because I am escaping but because if I keep on labeling myself as a person who is in quarter life crisis, Id probably end up sulking into the problem rather than focusing on the solution. So, I acknowledge that I am weak but that’s it. I am now going to move forward.

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include[fr wikipedia]:

feeling “not good enough” because one can’t find a job that is at one’s academic/intellectual level

frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career

confusion of identity

insecurity regarding the near future

insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals

insecurity regarding present accomplishments

re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships

disappointment with one’s job

nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life

tendency to hold stronger opinions

boredom with social interactions

loss of closeness to high school and college friends

financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)

loneliness

desire to have children

a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

As I was saying in my previous post, weirdly enough something started to change during the past few days. Before, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life and felt quite depressed because of this and had no determination to do anything. It was that “I want to hide under my bed” feeling, that probably many of you have also experienced. But now it’s like I want to do a lot of things at once and I am wondering if I am spreading my efforts in too many directions. Probably not, but here’s the longer story:

While wasting time (yeah, that’s something I’m working on – see my other goals) on the Internet, I also started to look at jobs or fantasize about places to go and things to do. And I realized that I don’t have to have a very clear direction in mind. I found some concrete – let’s call them – “career opportunities” that sounded like a lot of fun and decided to give them a try and apply. Of course some require that I take other steps in between. For instance, I still don’t know if I want to be a researcher or not – but you know what? it doesn’t really matter that much! I found a PhD position that I liked and I will take the GRE and apply for it. At the same time I found a video contest and I will try to do something for that as well. In the end, whether I will be a scientist or an artist it will depend on chance, success and others, but for the moment I keep my options open.

So my advice for all those going through this hard time of 20sth is EXPLORE! Nothing has to be forever, really. If later I won’t like my PhD anymore and decide I’d be happier teaching English in developing countries, that’s what I will do!

Weirdly enough, having to write for my goals on 43 things has made me a bit more determined and optimistic about my chances of success.

I still haven’t figured out what it is that I really really want, but at least now I am approaching more opportunities and taking direct action on them. I think it will be easier to understand myself and my motivations if I explore different paths.

I have never been 50 years old so far, but maybe the quarter-life crisis is not that bad, because now there is still time to explore. I am happy I am young! :)

I am not a big fan of self-help books, but this time I decided to give it a try. I just ordered from Amazon a book entitled “Conquering your Quarterlife Crisis”. I looked through it and it seemed quite OK – I don’t expect it to be life changing, but at least it contains some stories of other people who went through the same moods and phases as I do now. So here I move from “I didn’t know” to wanting to hear the stories of all those other “many people”.

I guess in another society we would gain life experience by talking to those elder than us. But in this alienated world we’re living in today it’s more difficult to get that sort of insight. Perhaps it is here that this sort of literature is expected to be useful, by filling up a gap.

I shall see to what extent my expectations will be met when I actually get the book. Yey!

there were so many people going through this as well..