I’m in the `next year’ of last year where i resolved to have a total different life by the time of `now’. yet, i’m still here, same place.
I’m planning to leave on 1st Jan 2014. now, i have to try my best to complete my self-study and find a job and a place to rent. I’m quite startle right now. I want everything be ready when the time comes. I’m no longer cool & brave enough to be spontaneous on the spot. Is this nature of life, that everyone takes up their own burden on own shoulders? 2 weeks ago
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I’m in the `next year’ of last year where i resolved to have a total different life by the time of `now’. yet, i’m still here, same place.
It’s hard to come up with big long term goals when you can’t imagine a positive future, but here goes:
1. Become a really fit person who loves exercise and gets outdoors a lot. I want to run everyday, and maybe start lifting or doing boxing. Also would like to go on hikes or even fix up my bike and go biking.
2. Improve my mood. Be able to wake up each morning and look forward to the day. Or at least not dread it. And not assume the worst possible outcome for everything.
3. Be less cynical. I think being skeptical an cynical is healthy, its good to have a clear view of reality but for me its gotten to the point where I just can’t see the good in anything or the point of anything, and its paralysing.
4. Be a ridiculously productive person and very focused. Be and stay super organised. Be a total neat freak. (I think the two go hand in hand).
5. Find a second job that is stable and pays enough that I can maintain my lifestyle and put away a decent amount of savings.
6. Plan when/where how I am going to move out (I don’t expect to accomplish this by next year but if I do then that’s a bonus).
7. Get back into music again. Become brilliant at guitar. Find people to practice with.
8. Volunteer or become politically active in some way.
9. Let go of any baggage I’ve been holding onto, get rid of people and things that bring me down.
10. Be comfortable with myself. Learn not to take criticism to heart too much. Stop imagining people are looking at me like there’s something wrong with me. 3 weeks ago
I added this goal when my daughter was born. This is obviously going to be the biggest change…being a mother. Being completely responsible for someone else’s life…! But I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of it. Everything I do revolves around her and her needs. And I don’t mind one bit. Yes, its hard, but so amazing. :)
The next big change to come, we are moving!! John got a job in Oklahoma and we will be moving in 2-3 months. Not completely sure of all the details just yet. Its a scary thought, being all alone somewhere with no family, but I think it will be good for us. 1) I think we need to get away from our families. While I love both of our families, they are a great source of stress for us. For me, I often feel like his family is a little too involved and he makes too many decisions with his parents without me. For example, he decides what holidays we will be spending with his parents. I was really upset when he just TOLD me that we were going to be spending our first Christmas as a married couple at his parents house. Not that its a huge deal, but being farther away will make it so he kind of has to ask me about stuff like this. 2) My family is so dysfunctional. They are constantly fighting and treating each other terribly. Especially my parents. I need to be away from it. It stresses me out SO much, and me being upset upsets John. And 3) we (mostly me) need a fresh start. An opportunity to be who I want to be and not have to worry about all the baggage I have here. I have so much trouble making big changes in my life because I feel like people are looking at me like I’m trying to be someone I not, and that’s not the case at all. Just trying to be who I’m suppose to be. Not sure if that makes any sense, but…just how I feel. 1 month ago
- Started with taking over finances for our family. Why? Because we need transparency as a couple!
- Started my 401K and I’m happy with that and counting it as my investment for the year. I can borrow against it, and it’s adding up faster than I thought it would at 3%.
*My schedule is benefitting my goal to do more around the house …every other week. On my early weeks, I am able to help out, but on my late weeks, it’s late enough that I can’t do anything when I get home, but early enough that I can’t really get anything done before I leave. Such is life, I guess. Me and my husband need to work on things in general though, because I’d like to have children in the near future, but I just find that I am not sure that I want my kids raised the way he does. It could be a big problem… but we’re going to work through it.
*I’ve been actually wearing makeup and contacts to work, and starting to buy new clothes that I actually like. I have a ways to go, but I’m happy with the things I’ve bought in the last few weeks, and been getting rid of the things I don’t like any longer.
*Made a really great new friend. So, there’s that. 2 months ago
Just started learning how to ride a motorcycle so hopefully by this time next year I will be confidently riding a motorcycle. Going from no experience with a street bike to getting out there and having lots of fun with riding by next year this time. Thats one thing that will be different. :-) 2 months ago
How do you have a totally different life in one year? I would guess just say yes to all the opportunities that come your way that feel right and follow your dreams and goals. What I would love would be to have a purpose. I really have no purpose at this point and time and feel totally unfulfilled. It doesn’t have to be what Im doing for the rest of my life but at least something that gets me up and makes me want to get up in the morning. Also I don’t have a lot of friends cause I can be a bit of a hermit because Of my social anxiety. I want to get out their and make some real friends. and last but not least I want a relationship. I want to have a lover that not only are we lovers but we are best friends. If only those 3 things happened in this next year my life would be totally different. Of course i would love to follow my dreams and have fun and do things Ive always wanted to do. So I think what I need to focus on is relationships, My career,and my health. I want to have vibrant health and have lots of energy and of course to lose weight once and for all. Any dream that comes along and I have the opportunity to pursue, then I just need to go for it. I think I might start this the day after labor day in september and by next september around labor day I hope that my life will be totally different in a good life changing way. 3 months ago
I’m doing really bad at losing weight. It’s been weighing on me lately. I have been in a lot of pain and can’t get to the gym despite the fact that I really want to. So, I’m focusing on my diet right now. I’ve started by allowing myself LESS fast food and I’m working towards NO fast food. That will be a start. Beyond that, I’m working on eating less gluten after lunch. I feel like I don’t need a ton of carbs right before bed, I have no reason to eat that much unless I’m planning on staying up all night and partying. I don’t, I have a bed time and it’s not late, so I don’t need the energy to last all night. My husband is putting a little bit of a fight up, but I pick meals he likes, and he’s not going to notice. I should have gone with my gut and just not told him, he never would have noticed we weren’t having gluten if I just had eliminated it on my own.
We’re working on the finances right now. We have been a little short on cash lately, but we’re saving some money, and we’re working towards our goals. We’re never so short we won’t make it through, and we have a little bit of money we can fall back on, so it’s not that huge of a deal, but we are slowly working towards saving money.
I’m not sure if I’ll be investing any money. BUT I have a 401K and so I think that counts towards this actually. I may not have any extra money right now, but I’m happy that I started this 401K.
We aren’t able to put our condo on the market right now because the people below us just foreclosed :(. SO, it’s up for rent. Hey, it’s not ideal, but we’ll be out and on our way to something good. We’re doing it through a realeastate agenecy… so they will do a credit cand background check first as well, which is good. AND they’ll take care of getting the deposit and should the person just LEAVE they’ll start trying to rent it out. Not to mention they’ll have the lease written up and it will hold up in court this way should anything happen.
I’m working on the clothing. I donated a TON of clothes this week. So, I’m getting rid of the things I don’t love. Now I just have to work on the buying things I love, things I want to be seen in.
I’ve been being a better wife. I really have been. Contributing to our marriage more. We had a big fight about him not including me in things and how that makes me feel like I don’t want to include my help in things and it is getting better. And he’s starting to actually understand that I’m really constantly in pain, and I’m not just saying that to get out of doing things, but because I’m in a lot of pain pretty much all the time. I’m working on the pain management, but until then, he is working with me now. And not rolling his eyes. And he is understanding that I can’t lift a lot of things but I will do dishes, and I’ll sweep the house, and make the bed. I’ll do what I can, but he has stopped trying to force me to do more than I can now.
I’ve been wearing my contacts, but I’m still working on the doing my hair thing. It’s just a lot of work that I don’t feel like doing usually so that I can get all dusty and dirty at work :). But I think I’ll get there. I’m getting better about so many things lately. 4 months ago
How I did it: It actually took me almost exactly 18 months to finish this goal - not a year - but I'm counting it as a win anyway!
I'm well on the way to my Bachelors degree, I have a job, health insurance and am eating better. I have several casual acquaintances whom I talk to regularly and have reconnected with several of my closest friends. I'm hardly the life of the party, but I usually have some activity taking me out and about one or three times a month, and I'm happy with that.
A lot of this came in small steps. I started out working towards an associates degree. This connected me to several classmates (changing my socialization patterns), gave me the background I needed to get a job (employment!) which in turn lead to health insurance (which makes me feel a lot better about my health situation). Read how I did it… 4 months ago
Wow. Things have changed for me. However I wish I didn’t have the same mindset. 4 months ago
How I did it: It turns out that having a different life in 12 months is really the natural way of things, particularly at such a turbulent time in my life. Of course things are going to be different in a year, but the challenge is making sure those changes are actually progressive. I think the most important thing is to have a constant drive to improve in the context of personal and professional growth, which means a desire and willingness to learn new things and apply those new skills daily.
I've since graduated with a bachelor's in Aerospace Engineering. I'm now in the midst of a job hunt, which is no less stressful than doing well in school. I now have undergraduate research experience, I've been through a NASA-style project life-cycle from start to finish, and I feel like a much more capable person (professionally) than I did a year ago. I also cut my long hair, which was weird at first but admittedly easier to deal with. My daughter is starting school in a month, and my wife has just gotten a full-time job for the first time in years (which will help us pay the bills until we're more stable). I've moved away from the city to live with my parents while trying to make my own way. Things aren't any easier, but my life has progressed and I think good things will happen soon. Read how I did it… 4 months ago
There are a few things I still need to work on since my first entry about this goal (getting a driver’s license, lose some weight), but I’m gonna mark this as done since I now have:
- a master’s degree
- a job
- a boyfriend
- a new house 4 months ago
Started my new job, and I really like it so so much better than my last position… which I didn’t hate but I was glad to move on. It came with a raise, which is nice. I also finally started putting money in my 401K here, and they match some percentage of up to 3%.
We almost had our condo sold…but then the buyer couldn’t get financed. It was disapointing, but we have an idea of what it would sell for and we’re working towards putting it on the market right now.
Because of my new position, people aren’t around as much. It’s really really great. It’s a lot easier to not let people get under my skin when there isn’t really anyone there to get under my skin. I have been sooo much better about just being nice. Just nice to everyone I can be nice to. Working hard and it’s a new thing for me to have to actually work all day. I like it though, and get a sense of accomplishment when I know I’m doing more work than they thought I would.
I can’t even explain how many new friends I’ve made. It has always been hard for me to make new friends because it turns out people don’t like me. Or rather, they didn’t like me. But now, somehow I’ve become less awkward and people think I’m great—all of the sudden. I’m not sure why or how, but I’ll take it. Maybe it has something to do with me making an honest effort to always be genuine with everyone around me. Maybe it has something to do with being happy at work now, because when I’m unhappy at work, I’m less fun :). It doesn’t really make a difference why, people actually like me lately, and I’m just going to think it’s a good thing.
I’m stuck still at the weight I was in April, but it really HAS been changing diet wise. I’m now drinking one soda a day at most, so that’s a start I swear. I’m eating food from home at lunch and breakfast more often, and I can feel the plateau about to end. I can just feel it in the air.
I really think I’m becoming better every day. My life is getting better. I’m finding my way out of problems, I’m working towards something I’m doing something I don’t hate anymore. I am working with people who appreciate the work I put in and who appreciate me. :). Life is getting better little by little, day by day. 5 months ago
a bad conversation with dad over the phone. his negativity was bugging and devastating. It drained me very much.
- called mechanic. stupid nasty trick again wasting my time telling me to call another line to get the person i wanted to talk to, yet the previous person still picking up and asking the same question.
- i supposed to move out in a week time to start a new life. but now, last minute, shitty talk with dad over the phone just turned me off. maybe i should be totally get disconnected. no point to have hope to parents that i don’t like. no meaning to be with this kind of parents. i nearly burst out and wanna lost my control to yell at him (for the first time)( and, i started to learn the western typical way- yelling).
- i don’t know where to settle my car and luggage when i go back. i called a pastor who used to be a pimp. i bet he won’t reply as he still smells pimpy.
- this neighbor could be nicer if he saw a man in a car! Later, his wife coming out to kinda checking up at my previous parking slot. i will feed them shit if they try to be control freak with me again.
- if i have to be a walking dead,i wish i could cry out loud now. 5 months ago
a kind of sub-list of goals to be acheived in order to be what/where/who I want to be this time next year
1. be admissible at CAPES in June – done !
2. lose the other 5kg – oops start again
3. P90X – bought it but haven’t started
4. stop smoking – still intend to
5. sort out finances, keep on track – oh dear
6. I know what I want, let others choose to follow or not
7. obtain the final exam next June – working at it
8. get the insurance over and done with – not in my hands
9. sell the house for a good price – depends on insurance
10. move on to better things – step at a time
11. surround myself with positive, motivating, interesting, cultivated people – I will work on this one 6 months ago