Have a totally different life by this time next year

well i keep thinking bt this goal every now and then but just cant seem to figure out wat to do.its challenging but i guess i`m outta resources for this goal.i have changed lot of things abt my self but things keep coming back to the same state again.dont know why
?but yeah i have to change the way i look and dress nd more important ly carry the dress i`m wearing nicely.its just sound to difficult.but i`m going achieve this

I want to become the character I created in my head. She has all of the same characteristics as me, but she is bolder, more honest, and even more fragile.

I’m not convinced it can happen, so I’ll start working on that first.

My first entry for this goal a year ago, available here, listed the ways in which I was going to measure my change.

I think perhaps the most definitive change is that I have committed to art school. It’s funny—I actually submitted my first application for a scholarship to study art yesterday, so it is almost as if on the very end of the challenge I confirmed the direction in which I am going. I am more public about art school now, telling this to people when they ask me what I am going to do. I am prepping a portfolio (which is going very slow, but it is because I am realizing I can only do so much and how very true it is that, to do something well, you need to focus on that one thing) and applying to art schools in December/January.

The stress around this change, but more so, about unresolved issues with my previous way of life, affected how I handled my spiritual growth and physical well-being. Both genuinely reflect that I still have issues to slowly resolve, but it is a process. I actually want to think that these will slowly resolve up until October 2010 (the end of my Saturn return, as predicted in my birth chart. For now, it is like working through shells, coming to terms with issues of identity, habits I have used to make up for my insecurities, etc. The stress around the change might have made me unconscious of what I was doing at times, but on the whole I feel I have more awareness than what I had a few years ago.

And moving to a new place/ learning a new language? Well, there is not a connection between the new place (US, UK, or Iceland) and new language (Russian), but I am definitely taking steps towards a shift of location and using my brain differently (where Russian and art both play a role).

These are still the issues I want to have changed by this time next year.

I really do want to have a totally different life by this time next year!

Here are ways I hope my life will change…

Educational – Attending University
in order to be in University I need to:
1. Apply for many, many Scholarships
2. Research the University I want to attend (find out the application process, deadlines, etc.) I’ve looked at the University numerous times, but this time I need to actually be serious about it and write it down!
3. Meditate and find the path I want to take in University.
4. Be in contact with students in that University!
5. Stay away from bad influences who are very negative.
6. Pray!

Relationships
Here are the ways my relationships will be different:
1. Be married to the love of my life!
2. Have a very intimate and strong relationship with the love of my life.
3. Have a very close relationship with my siblings. Be a good influence to them
4. Have many inspiring people around me! I’m in the process of finding those people
5. Stay away from negative influences.

Personal
1. Have a sexy body and a confident outward & inward appearance.
2. Read 300+ books by this date next year.
3. Stayed in Fantasyland Hotel for 3 days by myself (with my own money).
4. Watched 200+ classic and modern films.
5. Visited Japan
6. Learned Japanese.
7. Learned to Snowboard!
8. Discover and make myself…

More to come…

At this time last year, I wrote that I wanted to be at a completely different stage in my life. A year has passed, and it seems to me that all this year has been an incubation period of sorts to get me to the point of conceiving and accepting an entirely different life.

While the external circumstances of my life at present still seem to be in a state of transition, I think that I now understand that I had outgrown the way of life I envisioned and planned for myself a decade ago. I guess it is only natural that it might take a full year (and even more than that) to come to terms that, as much as I was attached to certain aspects about my past self, it would involve a lot of resistance (and, ultimately, self-denial) to insist staying in that same place. It is funny how events in the last two weeks have really brought this home to me. Perhaps I do not have a completely different life right now, but I have definitely constructed a hinge point for my life to change. I literally do feel it as a hinge, where the direction of my life was bent, and can now only turn in a certain (completely different) way.

So far, I don’t love it. But… I’ve always wanted to try it, and so I’m proud of myself for acting on it, going through the training, and working hard at preparing for our tutoring sessions. I don’t know if I’ll keep doing this after my year-long committment is up, but I’m going to stick with it until then in order to give it a fair chance. It’s possible that I’m not crazy about it because I’m still not really confident that I’m going to know how to best help my learner… so maybe it will get better with practice.

... to return to my seasonal job next summer. I love what the program is supposed to do and our clients, but most of the people in leadership positions are either corrupt or stupid. I’ve been there forever and I’m ready to try something new. I can still work with migrant workers, but maybe with a different organization or as a volunteer. Then I can actually dedicate some time to helping people instead of just creating documentation that makes the organization appear as if it’s doing what it’s supposed to.

Even though it’s a little early to be making this list, I thought I’d get it done because I have such a busy week ahead. I didn’t accomplish all of my October goals unfortunately, but thankfully November is just around the corner which means a fresh new start to make these goals happen!! Here it goes!

Goals for November:

Body:

• Buy membership to Spa Lady
• Work out 3 times a week
• Go without eating chips, pop, MEAT, and any other junk for this whole month
• Keep up my daily water intake
• Get back on track with vitamins
• Go for physical
• Make an apt. to get eyes checked

Spiritual:

• Get back on track with devotionals
• Check out more churches
• Read Bible twice a week and include in devotionals

Relationships:

• Go out with Colette and her boyfriend
• Do something special with Shawn

Miscellaneous:

• Buy Italian CDs from work
• Complete the 29 Day Giving Challenge
• Start saving for tattoo
• Stick to my budget
• See the Time Traveler’s Wife
• Order Passport
• Make a list of things that make me happy
• Watch Season 1 of Grey’s Anatomy
• Watch Season 7 of Gilmore Girls

So today is the 24th October (just), 2009 and I will have changed my life around by 24/10/10.

Currently I’m unemployed, live at home, can’t drive, and have little money to my name, I also seem to be whittling away any friendships I have and completely wasting my time. Need to grasp life, enjoy it, while also looking after myself well.

At the beginning of this year I had a series of projects that I was going to get stuck into, none of which I did. I haven’t progressed very far or done very much.

Need to think about what exactly I want and how I’m going to get it.

I am working my but off with videos at a constant workout/rest ratio, I am doing so much better