finish writing my screenplay

well… that’s it.
:)
thought this moment will never come.

We’re gonna start filming exactly one week from today.
Wish me luck! =)

I think I’m done.

Final comments from my teachers and friends, and I’m crossing this one off.

=)

I’ve just finished writing draft number 9, of the 4th version of this script. (Which means it’s really something like… the 40th draft).
We’ve finished a very successful and fun production meeting about two hours ago. It was mostly about shooting and art.
It’s pretty… wholesome, draft number 9. Its file is named “9”. I probably should’ve named it differently, but I like it.
9 pages, even though the movie’s gonna be like 11 to 12 minutes long. 12 scenes written in Times New Roman, 12. 5 scenes indoors, and 7 outdoors. 11 at daytime and 1 at night. The Shooting List currently contains 49 shots, not including the ones of the city. We have to narrow it down but it’s a great start.

I think… I’m a screenplay writer. Even though I’ve already written last year’s script… it was so emotinal and mine and I just had to get it out, it felt almost as if it had gotten out ready. Not that I haven’t worked on it like crazy, but now after writing and rewriting (and writing and rewriting) this one…
I think I’m a screenplay writer. I know how to build a scene, how to build characters, how to know them. I know how each character should speak. I know how to write monologues and dialogues, I know how to have a vision of a certain situation. I know how to get along with production limitations. I know how to give up, and narrow down, and compromise. How to be flexible and how to evolve and rewrite with no end in sight, and how to say something. I know how to express my feelings through this.

I think I’m a screenplay writer….

I’m having a hard time with that last scene… got like 5 ideas but I’m not there yet. A couple of days and it’ll be alright. :)

Ahhhh, I actually love this script! More and more as days go by. I think I can make it really great.
Printed out its recent draft and jotted down my thoughts, director’s stuff… I actually know what I want, which is great.

=)

It’s been a rocky road, but I’ve finally got it.
After many, many more hours of just talking about it endlessly – finally found a story I liked and put it on paper. It’s only the second draft of the last version, though, there’ll be some more changes: I’m not completely satisfied with the monologues, and there’s also this one dialogue… and maybe I’ll add a scene.
But I’ve finally got it! =)

...it took me
9 months; 300,000,000 drafts; so much frustration, tears, desperation, sweat, whining, staring, quitting, bummer, yelling, fights, happiness, loss of hope, characters, hours of just sitting in front of a blank page, hours of not listening in class in order to write another mdialogue…, dialogues, monologues, locations, scenes, writing, rewriting, erasing, reading it to myself, reading it to other people over the phone, not talking about anything besides it, work sheets, ink, space on my computer, files, meddling, discussions, words, hours, giving up, e-mails, talking about it with Ilan, Hadar, Noa, Inbar, Tamar, Shachar, Amit, my brother, Moti, Chagai, Shlomo, Morik, Rotem, Inbal, Yael, Slutty, some other people; (taking a deep breathe) so many phone calls, text messages, money, airtime, cups of coffee, cups of tea, sandwiches in front of the computer, cornflakes in front of the computer, being in front of the computer!, having my hands so sore because of writing so much, movies, seeing movies and thinking about my movie, reading books and thinking about my movie, hearing songs and thinking about my movie, thinking about my movie!; (another deep breathe) so many songs in the “movie” playlist in my iPod, so many dreams, waking up in the middle of the night and/or not being able to go to sleep, deadlines, discussions about it with Tom, writing about it to Tom, Posts about it, (breathe) so much enregy, so much dedication, so much relief…

After fighting years of procrastrination as well as years of finding a career, my wife finally told me that perhaps this really is what you should be doing. Writing and producing films.
Thing is, I love films, but writing can be such a chore. I have great ideas, and I know if I don’t write, then that’s all its going to be, an idea. Anyways…here I am procrastinating when I should be writing. So here I go.

You gotta have a breakdown to have a breakthrough.

Wrote an ending. It’s not good, yet, but it’s something. I am getting somewhere.

So…

I was kind of not getting anywhere with this script for a while. Really lacking any motivation or faith in my writing abilities. But I was thinking about it a lot, so I guess I had to move forward at some point.

We are really in post production at the moment, and the pressure was building up more and more like every single day. Then during a class (three hours) me and my teacher went to his room and just talked about the script and the characters and what I want to say, etc.
Can’t say it got me anywhere at the time, but maybe something had changed then. At some point, after being at it for like an hour, we just sat there in silence and he said, “don’t worry. You have a movie. You have great things here, you’re talented and you can do it.” That meant a lot to me. Tears in my eyes, I told him I’ve been working at it since February, and that I’m getting kind of desperate. He just kept saying it’ll be okay and we continued talking about it, as well as things in my life that relate to the script.

A little while after that I just reread a lot of my drafts (God knows I have a lot of these) and made a lot of progress writing. It’s not finished but I’m a lot more focused.

It’s hard. It really is.
But I can now see it happening.
It’ll be alright.

I should just fucking write it. Seriously. I’ve gotta lose that thought of this script having to be meaningful for me, and great, and whatever. So yes, it is my graduation film, and yes, I don’t feel good about it, as I’ve felt about last year’s movie’s script. So what? I mean, I must have finally exhausted this train of thought by now….

So sometimes I feel really good about the teacher’s picking me, even though there are only four directors (instead of six or five) this year, to direct, even though I’m so screwed up with this script. It is a vote of confidence, sure. On the other hand… on the other hand I don’t know if I can do this; on the other hand I’m so tired and sick all the time (and still never miss any cinema-realted anything). I’m so devoted and lack so much motivation, it’s strange how strongly I know that this is important to me, without actually feeling it.
I guess I do feel it’s important though, since I response so strongly to anything remotely related to this movie.

‘Movie’, as if I can call it that.

So we’re shooting the pilot so soon, and it’s really… I mean we’ve prepared nicely so far, lacking actors but that’s resolveable. The scene itself is pretty great, highly (very highly) praised by my teachers.

I’m kind of in the middle here. Supposedly I’m doing well, but everything feels like it’s kind of pulling apart.

I don’t know.
I should just sit, with my notes, and write, even if it feels like crap. For now.

lacking motivation at the moment… but it’ll probably pass until tomorrow. I actually kind of know the plot now, just have to alter it a bit and write it down. Too bad it seems kind of silly at the moment.

My teacher telling my I’m way too post-modern about this script(?!) also isn’t helping… geez, I just wanna snuggle into bed and wake up at graduation. Arg.

Me always being tired lately and having a tendency to have blackouts and stuff, also not helping.

I just need to take a deep breath, that’s all.