express my love rather than hide it in fear of rejection.

Life is so complicated. We all have made mistakes.
I’m beginning to open up to a whole new world. Scared shitless of where it might take me, but I’m holding on.

I think I’d kind of given up on the idea of meeting my soulmate. My heart’s twin? Nah, I didn’t think I’d find her. But I had a revelation about a month ago. One that helped me heal a spiritual wound I’d been carrying around for many years. I finally made peace with God. I don’t have any preaching to do or any epiphanies for sale. But it sure does feel good to be his friend again.

What am I leading up to here? Well, making peace with God has given me the peace of mind and balance I needed to take stock of my life. While doing just that on my birthday a couple weeks ago, I found myself chatting with my best friend. We had recently gone through a little spat over something silly and it felt sooooo good to have made up.

We talked and chatted and laughed and apologized and somewhere in the middle of it all, realized that we’ve been in love with each other for some time now. I’d say the realization hit us like a ton of bricks, but it was more like a box of cotton balls.

Now, after that lengthy build-up, here are three poems that her pure heart and gentle love have inspired me to write.

Every Detail
From miles and miles and miles away,
you somehow managed to see my kind heart.
But standing so close that our lips were entwined,
You caused my defects to all but depart.

So please do not be filled with dismay.
The love that I have is not based on a scale.
Your heart and your soul for me were designed -
I cherish you each and every detail.

Fuzzy Bunny Heart
Soft and cuddly,
warm and snug,
like a new pair of slippers
or a tall, shagg rug.

Your love envelopes me,
cushions the blows,
keeps out life’s hailstones,
watches me doze.

There isn’t a worry,
too big for your net.
There isn’t a problem,
I’ve reason to fret.

I’m safe in your bosom.
You make danger depart.
I couldn’t feel more protected,
by your fuzzy bunny heart.

Lovely Whispers
Tiny drops of warm, spring rain,
fall upon my hungry ears.
They make me feel I’m young again,
washing away my unborn fears.

Directly from the source they come,
a luscious mouth so ripe to kiss.
Like cotton hailstones on a drum,
Your lovely whispers bring me bliss.

if you love someone dan plz express to him or her,,,,,,,,
plz dont let ur love go,,,,,,,,
it happens only ones,,,,,,,
dont be afraid or shy dont thing useless just go straight away and tell ur love about ur feelings

Recently, I met someone at a ex-cultist support group I frequent and for the first time in two and one half years, I opened up to her. We started talking more and more and eventually got to the point of telling each other we were in love.

Then we met. It didn’t go well. She wasn’t happy to see me. It was very hard for me to deal with but for some reason she went from “I love you,” to not wanting to be around me.

I don’t know if I still want to do this. I’m not sure if I can handle this another time. I know I need help dealing with my emotions because the last two times I’ve fallen in love with someone have resulted in suicidal feelings. This time, a friend noticed how bad I was and talked with me until I got help. The last time, though, I ended up in intensive care for three days.

I really like the idea of meeting someone to walk through life with, but it appears that I’m simply too messed up to qualify.

There is someone that I’ve been meaning to ask out for awhile but between my writing, comedy, and other responsibilities, I always find a reason why I can do this later. So my 43things.com friends, give me some encouragement. :-)

I’m proud, relieved, amazed to have finally accomplished it. It’s worth it. If you have people you care about and love, on any level, be it even just your friends and family – tell them how you feel. Tomorrow might be too late. A close-encounter with a city bus and another vehicle running a stop sign showed me how true that is. Just do it. Open up your mouth and say it or write them a letter, email. Use a freaking Post-It note if you have to, but do it.

Regardless of what I’ve constantly heard from the eternally optimistic, some people are destined not to find love and companionship. I’m one of those people. People can tell me otherwise all they like but I’ve yet to have this proven wrong. There’s no one and there’s never going to be anyone. The past attempts at relationships have always been my initiating them and then having the other people drop me like a hot potato. No more.

While I may have worthwhile qualities as a person in general I’ve nothing worthwhile to contribute in regards to a romantic relationship and no one I feel things for ever returns the feelings.

I’m tired of falling on my face when it comes to this. I don’t want to do it anymore. Pride only allows a person to lick their wounds so many times before it becomes ridiculous. Better to remain cynically removed from the notion of ever finding love than to chase a shadow for the rest of my life that will never materialize.

hinder this. i was doing well with this but got sidetracked. depression brings out the ridiculousness in me. ridiculous because self sabotage is not need at all. and filters prevent me from becoming the good listener i want to be. 2007 i need to get serious about these goals for once and for all.

... I realized, as I was looking at all the images on the television concerning the latest fears of nuclear weapons, that life is too short. Do I want to die unexpectedly someday from war or sickness, without telling the people in my life how I feel? I don’t. A car could hit me tomorrow for all I know – I don’t want to take my silence to the grave with me.

So the deadline begins – I’m going to start telling people how I feel. It might have to be small starts until I work my way up to hardest confession of them all, but I’m going to start this.

To say I’m gun-shy is an understatement; I’ve been dumped multiple times, stood up on dates, and had two failed engagements. As a result I’m more apt to simply sit quietly and not act on my feelings for anyone anymore.

Still… I can always hope to work toward it someday.

Edit: I’d just like to add, since people seem to be jumping to conclusions that I’m looking for “Mr. Right”, that my personal views don’t limit love to the opposite gender.