stop waking up on the asshole side of bed

... i find that praying when i wake up prevents the asshole effect of morning.

=)

okay, so I realized that i get stressed out, angry, sad, depressed…. A LOT. I’m early-ish in recovery. I keep using other things to keep me from feeling. So I ask, am I depressed?
Am I just new to recovery? Or is there something fundamentally wrong with my brain chemistry that anti-depressants can fix?
Or am I just not liking this whole “feeling” thing and accepting that is a part of life.
Hmmmm…..

I feel that I make myself miserable. Like… I already feel pretty crappy about myself, but i’ll do shit to make it worse.
Like not exercising, not going to an OA meeting, not eating right, wanting to relapse/die, not talking about this shit.
Fuck.
My sponsor is leaving soon for a week!
I hope I don’t relapse!!

~Me.
(apparently self-pitying self centered me. Durh)

...when i wake up, I’m a bitch.
seriously, a bitch.
i won’t talk to ne one unless my purpose is to bitch them out.
see… the bathroom is all the way on the other side of the house, and i must pass everyone’s bedrooms in order to get there. and people inevitablly come out and talk to me.. well, try to.
I wish i could have a bathroom closer to my room… and a kitchen… so i could effectively dodge those that try to talk to me.