organize my life around areas of moral clarity

This one caught my eye.

lately, there have been things tempting me away from my moral center.

One—the work scene. I absolutely, completely loathe my job. It’s not what I’m doing; I love that. But the people I work with are in such bad spirts, they’re so overworked and miserable, that they take it out on me when I neglect to do one thing or another.

“Nursing is a 24 hour job” the night nurses say, when I run around, panic-stricken that there’s one thing I won’t get to finish before the day staff comes on. You always say “Geez, we were so busy last night, with the code, and the admission, that I didn’t get a chance to change one of the IV lines…” and they roll their eyes and sigh loudly, and then spend the rest of the day shit-talking me.

My boss, who absolutely hates me, but can’t fire me because one person is out on maternity leave, another is on her second month-long European vacation in 5 months, two people have been calling in sick repeatedly…etc.

She jumps down my throat for every little thing I neglect to do. If I forget to dot an I or cross a T, she’s on it immediately.

ANYWAY…I got a call from one of the ICUs where I really, really wanted to work, and I’m faced with “do I go?”

I could go for just a couple months, and quit, but then, they’d expect me to commit to at least a year. But, I am leaving for Columbia in September, so I couldn’t stay.

Yet, the lure of just being able to quit this crap job I have NOW, and do something new, at a state of the art ICU, working DAYS instead of nights…ah the temptation!!!

is rid of two of what I like to call “Yahtzees” tonight
(a drink I made up)

If you like sqirt soda, you’ll love this.
Equal parts vodka and ruby red grapefruit juice
then fill the glass with tonic.

So, it’s essentially a vodka tonic with one part grapefruit juice thown in.

it’s one way to tone down the adrenaline to get to sleep.
it hits you right behind the eyeballs and your lids get heavy.
I swear.
Better than ambien :D