Find a muse

Well i have a muse for the book that i am writing but i still do seem to have the attention span to sit down AND dont it not to mention that my muse is actually someone that i have feelings for but i shouldnt but i think i can only focus when im around this person so i don tknow what to do

I dont know how to let myself go…
I know what i want to do with my life
I know I can do it…
But society casts such a shadow…

I know im above but this, yet sometimes their ideals
smother me to the point were i find it hard to breath…

I need to seperate myself… yet cant….
I need to walk the path I desire….
yet change feels next to impossible…

i wonder if i even have a valid contribution to music left in my soul… Its hard to see while i give so much of it away to all the random people who i hardly even know…

vent vent vent… to no one… no one at all…
To an empty audience…
To a blank page…
To eternity
and beyond

Inspiring people seems to be so much easier than being inspired. I find that being a muse helps me get through my dry and dull times as much as it does for the other person. I love being a muse, I feel we both win.

It was all about me! I’m my own MUSE. My own inspiration!

I need something or someone that inspires me. Something that allows my ideas to flow. My brain, my heart, my soul feels dry. I’m trying to wring water out of a dry towel. Nothing is coming. I guess I’m not sure exactly what a muse is. According to the dictionary it’s something that inspires to create. And if I try and follow what Xanadu tells me what a muse is, I’ll be sitting around waiting for a woman on roller skates to tell me to open a rollerdisco club :/ Which I would rather not do. I’ve been trying to write a play for the last six months and various ideas have come to me, but I’m not on fire for anything. I remember being younger and I could have an idea and just run with it. Never before have I had to deal with indecision or inhibitions about what I was going to write.

Ther’s nothing to complicate the search., light indarkness . Trade intr202 for extr202 : Does discovery outweigh inevitable loss? One word discoveryloss. Some things you lose and are grateful for,’‘inevitabelle sssnaking her way across the room, that dress she’s wearing. ephemarelle her diamond painted lips smoking mighty dubwise’’ It’s stored away now it cannot last forever.Sign on the wheel the balance the compass// Goes on forever.

I don’t want to lose my creativity, but I feel as though it’s slowly slipping away from me. I haven’t written or painted or anything in so long I’ve forgotten how awesome it feels to let all that out. I’m an Aquarius bursting with ideas…just no way to let them out. Muse come back!!

To start with, those of you have not seen “Once”, do rent it as soon as it comes out!

Saw the Swell Season on the night that was my true day after birthday celebration and WOW!

My best femme friend and I took the ferry from Jack London Square in Oakland just as the sun set and then hopped a cable car up the hill (have not done that in many years) and went to dinner at a Thai Restaurant right by her work . . . and . . .

. . . after lots of great cathing-up-conversation I went to the bathroom and when I was coming back looked at the gal at the table beside us I suddenly realized that it was either Markéta Irglová or I was dillusional.

My femme friend and I walked out and I told her immediately that I thought it was them, who we were going to see, and she said, “nahhhh, I was looking at them while we were eating, no way”

Fast forward to them, The Swell Season, coming on after Martha Wainwright opened (yes the Martha Wainwright of Rufus Wainwriaght sisterhood fame who put on such an amazing set that I now want to see her on her own) . . . they walked on stage and we both looked at each other and said at the same time, “that was them”

Then they played one of the best, stripped down, cathartic concerts I’ve seen in ages. Glen Hansard was not only vocally masterful in a sweetly haunting way, but his storytelling inbeetween kept the audience enraptured in bow-down-and-enjoy ways! The Irish contingent was definetely in effect and the fact that the Frames were (unnanounced) as backing them up threw the entire Scottish Masonic Temple atmosphere of the setting into times of utmost revelry.

They were simply amazing! They closed with a Danial Johnston song about being living in a vampire city and realizing one was a vampire too. A classic Danniel Jouhnston song I have heard before but to have Glen get everyone to sing along and snap their fingers to the song was CLASSIC!

Great show all around!

I need inspiration. I need motivation. I need a sun and flowers. And maybe Haagen Dasz ice cream.

for some inspiration outside of “my world”. The people and the things in my world are inspirational – for everyday life and some creativity, but I’m looking for a source that is unfamiliar. Not someone to be in touch with per se – just to be brushed by their presence. If that makes any sense…