My father was distant… and a control freak. He played favorites – not because he had a favorite, but because he liked to switch around and pit us children against each other. He was not a positive force… I probably would have grown up to be more emotionally stable without him. He just had too many of his own problems to succeed as a dad. He didn’t understand that children need affection, not discipline for voicing a conflicting opinion.
However, I recognize that he tried. I feel bad that in the years following my parents’ divorce (I haven’t seen him in ages) we spoke many unsavory truths about him… we unloaded a lot on him, which, though truthful, only showed the ugly truths. No one ever acknowledged that he tried… which I firmly believe he did.
I haven’t really figured out how to say this to him. (We don’t correspond.)
