bring up tolerant, intelligent, self-confident children

We have a VERY diverse group of friends. Letting them into our home and lives is already teaching our kids that it is ok to be different. They are all very intelligent. Self-confidence is going to be harder I think.

Someday, when I have children, I will achieve this goal. For now, it will just sit on my list of things to accomplish and remind me of what lays ahead of me.

What can I say, I like to think ahead :) hahaha I probably won’t be getting started on this one for another 5 or 10 years, but I know its something that is important to me.

Spare the rod and spoil the kid they say . . but is it really true? I think the best way to bring up a confident child is to not hit him with the rod in the first place. My parents used to beat me a lot and I am having a tough time acting confident in many situations. Like for instance a social party. I am going to spare the rod and spoil the kid. I want him to be confident.

My kids are almost grown now, and they are open-minded and kind-hearted without being too precious. They grow as we treat them. They’ll be tolerant if we are tolerant; stand for justice if we so stand. They will be intelligent if we expose them to many different ideas (stack books everywhere and let them read anything). And self-confidence comes from experiencing one’s own competence…not from that ridiculous “A for Everyone” affirmation, but from a deep sense of one’s own abilities. Give ‘em chores and let them learn how to do things that seem hard for them. Let them know that you rely on them to pull their share. And don’t give false praise. At least, that worked for me.

As we were on our latest road-trip, my daughter said to me, “Hey, Mommy…! I have a good idea! How about I put some of my old toys in a box and give them to another little girl who needs them?!” She was so excited. I was so proud. :)

My daughter turned 4 on November 1st. It was like a switch was clicked and a light went on and suddenly she just began reading! We read, read, read books all, all, alllll of the time. Now she’s reading some to ME! :) She is reading the My First I Can Read Books. They are preschool level, so she’s right on target, but I am still just too proud of her! It is fantabulous to be read to for a change, also! :: grin ::

This will be something that I will be working on for the rest of my life. :) With all our recent changes, this challenge is now tenfold. I feel so fortunate to have such a unique situation where my daughter’s father & I are still great friends. Even so, I am the one who is with her daily, and this is something that I have to be acutely aware of how steadfast I am being as a single parent. There is no doubt that she is wildly intelligent, but confidence & tolerance are two things she will need to get her through life. The first step has been to make her feel secure, comfortable, and loved beyond limits. This is a goal in which I have dedicated my life to. She amazes me every single day!

While my friend Joy was here, she told me that she thought Wilhelmina was just the best mannered little girl she had ever seen. I have always thought the same thing, but then Joy said she thought that it was because my husband & I are good parents. Honestly, we thank her and say “you’re welcome” every time she says thank you to us. We just treat her the way we want her to treat us and I think it is really working for us! It isn’t even intentional, but I am proud of our little “Lady”. She’s truly turning into a lady.

I mean, who’s perfect? Yes, my daughter decided the Kindergarten wasn’t challenging her, so she asked to be homeschooled. The school had tested her for gifted, but didn’t really have any resources to teach her once they proved she WAS gifted. They did get her to go once a week to read to the fourth graders.
But one day or even two a week doesn’t do it. She was getting way more from us on our time off in the way of Spanish, German, English, science, history, and math. So we’re doing the homeschooling thing.
The off side? She ran away from home. Yes, at the age of six. Why? Because her brother got a better toy than she. But don’t worry, my wife followed her and got her, and my neighbour came by too to make sure she was okay, while I was SPEEDING with my emergencies on and honking to get back and make sure she didn’t get hurt during this misadventure.
My lad? He has just successfully made the transition to using his kiddy potty. And tonight he chose of his own accord to go into his own bed. He’s three. Mama says he considers it “the Boy’s Bed.”
He called for mama. I joked, using a falsetto, to pretend mama I was responding. He answered, and said, “NO, not YOU papa. I want THE LADY.”

He’s only 16, but he’s definitely on the right track!!