listen more

Thing is, I’m quiet, and I still don’t really listen.
Other things will be on my mind, and instead of really replying to what people say, i’ll just say like, “ohhh. that sucks.” or, “nice.” <—the worst. This probably makes me seem like I don’t care, when I do.

Encouraging to read others’ commentary here about how they learn to listen more.

I realized I had to learn to listen better at a meeting yesterday. I was brought in to be the expert and most of the meeting, I was. Then at the end, I needed to ask advice about something that they knew better than I. She started answering my question, and I kept being tempted to interrupt her, and even interrupt in ways that would change the subject, and eventually I did interrupt. Not a disaster, but it would have gone better if I had just shut my trap and listened.

I started reading a book about how to have better conversations (Instant Persuasion by Laurie Puhn), and I realized that so many of the rules rely on having more control over what comes out of your mouth, a control that I am not as good at as I would like to be.

Interestingly enough, most of my friends do not confront me. I am used to being The Queen Bee.

This year, I have had some wake up calls.

I am very grateful for the people who have shown me that I really need to shut up!!

I learned to survive through forcing myself to be socially aggressive. It is time to learn humility and grace.

Breathing and meditation, being conscious fully all help.

I don’t have to fill in silence, either.

I want to float, be breathy and deep, all at once.

I am glad to have some personal coaches, one in particular.

The power of the mind is truly amazing. If you believe in something, view it as important and genuinely want it, then you can have it!

I’m finding now, that I don’t need to “remind” myself, to look at someone in the eyes when they’re talking to me, or to “look interested” in what they’re saying, or to stop talking over the top of them and let them finish.

Once you get into a ‘routine,’ there’s a part of you the evolves, you’re developing! I’m developing!

To listen properly, shows amongst other things, that one has patience, care, consideration, humility, and perhaps some wisdom (knowing that there may be something new to learn). It also is a quality appreciated by nearly everybody and highly sought after in friends! = )

I have a tendancy to just be so caught up in my life and what i have to do that there are many times where i dont give enough attention to the people in my life. For example, i have a friend who has a particular problem at the moment (actually she’s had it for about 6 months and this i know because she counts the days). Anyway each ‘DnM’ session takes quite a long time to finish up, my mind can’t help but wander … especially if she’s already told me what she’s telling me (which most of the time she has)... OR or if i bump into someone, say the quick ‘hi!’- sometimes i don’t even look the person in the eye! (or at least long enough) whilst i keep going. This is not because i’m rude or snobby, its just one of those things that i do without thinking, because i’m so intently focused on what i’m doing or have to do. However, being somebody who is extremely self-aware, i realise that this is what i do! (then i feel rude)

Mini-goal: Even if i’m in the middle of something, if i’ve got a hundred things all running through my head at once but someone needs to talk, or even say hi, from now on i’m going to stop and acknowledge. Stop and acknowledge…

One day, some day, i’ll need someone at a time probably not convenient for them…

I realized today that just because I hear the words that come out of someone’s mouth, that doesn’t mean I am really listening. I’m too busy thinking about what I am going to say in response to really understand the message of what is being said, which has lead to a lot of misunderstandings lately. So my goal is to listen actively, attentively, and give the person talking to the feeling that they are being heard. I know I want that feeling!

My husband and I are always interrupting each other when we argue. I would like to be able to listen to what he is trying to communicate to me instead of interrupting to tell him how what he is saying is incorrect from my perspective,

The meds I am taking make me slow and stupid. This is a very easy goal to meet when I am like that. HOWEVER, I am only supposed to take the meds at night before bed because it is known that they cause brainlessness

I realized that my boyfriend is right..I only half listen. There has been so many instances in the past week where he will be like “I already told you this.” ...and he really did. I’m not sure if it is just me not listening to him or if I really have some short term memory problems.

I just have to remember that means talking less