nurture my spiritual self

For someone who doesn’t usually dream, I seem to be having quite a few of them lately.

On Samhain night I had a dream that the President from the T.V show Battlestar Galactica came to me. _{Bizzare, I know, but I’ve been watching the (new) show with my sweetheart lately and we’re about three-quarters of the way through the second season.} She wanted me to take over as the President. Later, I’m standing in my living room, freaking out about what a huge responsibility it is and doubting my capability. Uncle Enore is there _{yep, definitely one of the stranger dreams I’ve had} and tells me, in that no nonsense way of his, that I am capable of doing this.

So you heard it from Uncle. I am capable of doing this.

Things have been going really well with this goal. I’m finding that my spirituality is becoming an integral part of my life and that developing my own personal rituals has been a deeply satisfying process.

Reading back over my entries, I found this statement of purpose:

Recognise that a holistic approach to life is necessary and that knowledge of myself and what I believe is important in order to have a positive outlook and to guide myself through life. Learn to love myself without deeds, because I am more than what I do.

I’m satisfied that I have done that… with the exception of the last perhaps. That is still an ongoing battle, but one I suspect I’ll be struggling with for a few years yet. Even so, the seeds that are beginning to sprout here are going to help a lot with it, I suspect.

So, consider my spiritual self suitably nurtured.

I had another dream about crystals last night. I find it strange because while I understand that everyone dreams every night, I rarely remember my dreams or even have any awareness that I was dreaming.

In my dream I was looking for a Jade pendant to wear.

Jade is often associated with protection of the dead and connecting with the spirits of ancestors, which seems appropriate since Samhain is just around the corner for the southern hemisphere.

In other news, I quickly gave up going to the Zen sangha because it was just too difficult for me to get to without my own car.

Hestia Hour continues to go well and has quickly become a solid part of my routine.

There’s been quite a lot of progress on this, now that I stop and think about it.

The Zen meditation was interesting, but a bit disappointing in some respects. Nothing was really explained to me and I was rather left to flounder through it on my own. Perhaps I needed to come better prepared and to have done more research on Zen meditation. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it in some ways and felt a bit more peaceful when it was over. We began with 25 minutes of sitting meditation, then had a short walking meditation before returning for another 25 minutes of sitting meditation. A bit of a discussion on wisdom was held at the end.

I was rather proud I made it through all of that, though my neck and back were quite sore by the end of it and as a consequence I slept poorly that night. Their next session is this Wednesday, though, and I plan to go back. I think this is something I could grow into.

On another note, I finished off Goddesses in Everywoman which {mandarina darinka Turandot} recommended to me. I loved it. Not only did it appeal to my interest in archetypes and Jungian psychology, but also my interest in Greek mythology. Plus it got me thinking about goddesses in a rather more grounded way and how they might manifest themselves in me and my life.

Partly inspired by the book, and partly by my need to give this goal more prominence, I’ve decided to instate what I’m calling “Hestia hour” this month. Every week, I’m going to set aside an hour. I’ll spend half meditating and half reflecting on some thought or issue in my life. I’m rather looking forward to it, actually.

I am adding this one to another of my things..CHEERS.

Are the nicest things when practiced everyday. My gratitude journal is off line, but I am graetful for the people that invented 43T, for flylady and her crew and for steve pavlina. Thanks for the site for my enldess lists, thank Marla Ciley for shining of the sinks, Thanks Steve Pavlina for cleansweep. CHEERS to all 43T people!!!!!!!!!! do 3 nice things every day…because I remember hearing somewhere that maybe all the world's problems could be solved if everyone did 3 nice things a dayhave faith, hope and charity

And greek. As I was shining my sink, my head full of feminist rethoric I found the goddes Hestia. Known as Vesta by the romas she simbolizes everithing about the heart. She is central, for every household keeps within her shrine. She is a quiet goddess, contet to be, as I was after drinking my water. Tank you dear old virgin goddess, who has no face, and all wome´s faces.

I was born into a third generation family of practicing atheist, but I am finding a lot of calls from the spirit. I am studing epistemology this semester, and How I Know what I know from science ist enough. I think I am more af a pagan/agnostic tibe. In medical schoool, we are made to swear when we get our titles by Apollo, Athenea Higea and Panacea, so I guess I believe in those gods, and also in the many names God has. I am merely speculating and not actually getting very far…... have faith, hope and charityfocus on gratitude, humility, faith, hope, love, kindness, grace (attitude and actions)

The Zen Sangha have their first meditation for this year on the 20th Feb, next Wednesday. I intend to go along but have got some sorting out to do first, like transport and familiarisation with things. I bought a nice little fold out chair with good back support, since my back’s not strong enough to sit unsupported. I guess we’ll see how things go!

Something rather strange happened not long ago and I’m still feeling the ripples and trying to work it out. Perhaps a week ago I was suffering from the worst back pain I’d had in a while. It seemed to center around the base of my spine. I had a dream that night, which I remember nothing of except that someone was telling me that I had to get a piece of carnelian and a piece of bloodstone, however I had to wait until Discardia was over because I’d promised not to buy anything new during that time (true enough). There seemed to be something about Carnelian in particular.

The next morning, I looked them up in my crystal book. It seemed clear enough. Both were well known healing stones, associated with the sacral chakra.

Anyway, today I went and bought a piece of each, since Discardia ended yesterday. I was a bit shocked to find that the shop keeps the two kinds of tumbled stones together. Presumably to save on space. I got talking to the shop owner, who felt that there were better crystals to help with back pain (she said selenium and smoky quartz). It got me to thinking that perhaps I need them for a different reason.

My research has told me so far that they’re both stones associated with the kidneys, anxiety (which I occasionally suffer from) and courage. In addition I found the following here

Dreaming of Carnelian has been interpreted to signal the approach of a significant problem in a person’s life.

The slip of paper I got from the store owner also indicated that Carnelian is excellent for restoring vitality and motivation… two things I’ve been distinctly lacking this year.

I have the strong feeling that my intuition is trying to tell me something, but I’m not entirely sure what it is. I guess I’ll just take it easy and see what happens.

I haven’t written much about this lately, but that’s certainly not to say that things haven’t been happening. I’ve been giving some serious thought to what it means to live by my values and in that light have been doing a lot of research into Buddhism, which seems to strongly fit in with what I feel my values to be. I’ve done some reading about Buddhism and tippytoes has been kind enough to answer some of my questions.

I’ve also found a local Zen sangha that I’d like to go along to. I like the idea of having some official (regular, disciplined) practice in my life. I also like the idea of having a mentor so I don’t feel like I’m floundering through things like I am now. Transportation is proving an issue at the moment, however. Watch this space.