Talk to my brother more frequently

I went to my brother’s bass recital yesterday and then to lunch. It’s very difficult because my parents are divorced and I grew up with my dad and he lived with my mom. My mom is also remarried and since I always got the feeling that she cheated on my dad with this guy I’ve disliked him on principle since I was 12. I often feel like my parents robbed my of my childhood because they act like such children that it forces me to mediate and try to comply with both sides all of the time. Even now, 11 years after the divorce I have to hear my dad complain because he never sees my brother and my mom complain that my dad never tries to make dates. They are both guilty because my dad refuses to see that my brother must keep his head down until he goes to university so as to avoid the wrath of my mom. And my mom routinely sabotauges any efforts of my dad to see my brother.

My brother and me are caught in the middle. Sometimes this makes me feel like I should never get married or have kids because it was so lousy for us.

He’s not that bad after all =P

I made the point of calling or seeing my brother every month for a year. Our relationship has improved, too. Maybe I’ll continue posting a note here about it, but I consider this goal completed.

Forty minutes on the phone. I found out my brother has sketched out a novel, that he’s never had time to write. I told him about NaNoWriMo, and he had never heard of it.

Probably one of the better conversations I’ve had with him in a long time. It’s taken nearly a year to get here.

I gave him a ring, now that he’s back from Vienna. I’m beginning to think that he’s now used to me calling him – it isn’t like, “what the heck’s up with this?” like it was at first.

He was in town for less than 24 hours. We had tea at Wild Ginger.

April’s nearly over, so I figured I’d better give him a ring. I left a message.

Edited to add: he never called me back, so I called again. Now it’s May. I talked to my SIL, but where is he?

I realized I had to do this, or I’d miss my February goal. He said he’d call me next time. Ha.

One nice thing for me is that my brother often has contracts with folks at Microsoft, so he flies into the area every few months or so. I usually don’t get but a few days warning.

Last night was one of those times. We had dinner together, and talked until 9:00 PM or so. One of the major issues is that his step-daughter is really unable to take care of all three of her children (another story for another time), so they are taking over raising her oldest, who is 13. Apparently the paperwork was signed this weekend.

It’s always been odd to me that he has a grandson who is just 4 months younger than my daughter, but that’s what happens when a. you’re seven years apart in age; b. you have your kids relatively late, and c. he married a woman who had two kids from a previous marriage that she had relatively young. But now we’re both then raising kids of about the same age, so perhaps it’ll give us more to talk about.

I’m really glad I made the effort to get together, despite all the snow. I set the goal of talking to my brother on the phone or in person monthly back in August, and so far, I’ve accomplished this, three times f2f.

I called my brother at Xmas, and thanked him for the presents.