stay fresh and positive and optimistic in the face of failure after failure after failure

is so damn hard to do.
i was looking fwd to getting to work today, because i feel like there is nothing else in my life to be interested in at this point.

all my efforts towards creativity and further education have been stymied.

right about now i feel pessimistic and weary and ready to give up.

(got the letter saying i didn’t get the internship)

ah well.

it’s been a miserable diwali/gujarati new year/etc etc…

things could get better. they could get worse before they get better. they may never get better.

i have to find a better attitude.