pull myself together

Nearly there, give me a few days

to be just fine.

I haven’t been doing enough to pro-actively lift myself out of this slump. I did manage to reframe my inability to deal with anything as being gentle and undemanding with myself, which made me feel a bit better and more able to manage the basics, but I still can’t remember the last time I got through a day without crying, and feeling frustrated and impatient with myself for feeling so down only makes it worse.

I think I realised last night what this bout of depression has really been about, deep down, and it’s horrible – so ugly that I struggled to write it in my journal, and certainly can’t post it here. But now that I know where it comes from, it’ll be a bit easier to beat it. And I need to do everything I can to do so, cos it’s imperative that I root out that pattern of thought and stomp on it. I don’t want it in my head.