Ask questions... lots of questions

I was an inquisitive child and I am very fortunate that my parents were older – I am the youngest child – and had a great deal of patience for all of my questions. As I grew, I learned how to seek out my own answers – asking lots of questions doesn’t have to be something irksome (just noticed someone’s tag for this goal “sure to piss somebody off” – it should be educational.

Do they put underwear on corpses?

If your eyes are crossed, do your tears fall straight?

If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?

Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings? I’ve wondered that

If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?

What is the point in saying “may I ask you a question” and then follow it up with a question?

Is it possible to be allergic to water?

When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don’t believe in God?

How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?

Isn’t it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?

Why do we say “heads up” when we actually duck?

Whats a question with no answer called?

How do “do not walk on grass” signs get there?

What was Captian Hook’s name before he had a hook for a hand?

Do bald people get dandruff?

Can a person with no ears wear glasses?

If someone’s peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep peeing or stop? Good question xD

Can you still say “Put it where the sun don’t shine ” on a nude beach?

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it’s schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it’s cute?

Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the SWAT team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?

“Cute as a button” Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

Why is it that if something says, “do not eat” on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

If heat rises, then shouldn’t hell be cold?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do companies offer you “free gifts?” Since when has a gift not been free?

If something “goes without saying,” why do people still say it?

Why is a square meal served on round plates?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can’t we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, “I wish you would not grant me this wish” what would you do?

What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”?

Can bald men get lice?

How come popcorn isn’t a vegetable?

Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?

Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?

How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don’t take off the price if you get something taken off?

If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn’t you be able to go anywhere you want?

If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

When something’s funny why is it called a “knee-slapper” when you actually slap your thigh?

Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?

If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?

Is sign language the same in languages other than English?

Why is “number” abbreviated as “no”? When there is no “o” in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America’s problems?

Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?

If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why is Donkey Kong called “Donkey” Kong if he’s a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Does Hawaiian Punch come from Hawaii?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Can you cry under water?

If all of the Acme stuff doesn’t work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged. Why is that?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny?

Why do you delete something on the computer, but erase something on paper?

Since there is a rule that states “i” before “e” except after “c”, wouldn’t “science” be spelled wrong?

Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says “adult” is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?