Stop fighting with my mom

stop my parents fight

God please stop my mothers and fathers serious fight.Do not kill anybody from my family just stop my parents fight earliest as possible.I feel ashamed that I did not do anything.My parents are my life.stop this fight.Arsh

Ok so I’m gonna take a stab at this. I just turned 14 yesterday and for a lil more than 2 weeks my mom hasn’t said more than 10 words to me. My entire life I’ve always been the ‘perfect little angel’ I was well behaved, perfect grades, and got a long great with my family. It was mainly because when my sister was in High school she and my mom had a lot of angst between them and never talked to each other. Well when my sister graduated they made up and have a pretty good relationship. But now I just started high school this year and it seems like everything I do is a mistake to her. Last year me and my best friend walked to the local grocerystore to by a present for a friend’s bday before I went off to babysit, my mom found out and thought I was sneaking out every week and I was grounded for the first time in my life….FOR 4 MONTHS. & I’m not allowed to talk to my best friend anymore b/c ‘she influences me to make bad choices’ Ever since that I’ve been trying to be the perfect child again, but I’m growing up and they’re not giving me any freedom, but they are giving me WAYY too much responsibility. My brother told me to go do something and then I got in trouble for it with my mom and now she hasn’t talked to me in over 2 weeks. My sister says it’s because even though she’s not that pissed off about the thing with my bro, but she keeps finding little mistakes that I made and keeps getting pissed off again..I just don’t know what to do. And the only reason she’s even said a few words to me was because she told me “Happy 14th Birthday” and a few random things. I’m sorry, that probably didn’t make any sense, but I’m sooo confused right now. How did I go from the perfect lil girl to the angsty screw up when I always do everything for them and mantain perfect grades and I haven’t talked to my best friend in a lil less than a year???

We haven’t been fighting nearly as much since I went off to university. It’s like we both don’t want to make the little time we have together suck by fighting – we’re both just learning to bite down the snappish comments we might otherwise make.

Plus, now I’m on my own, it’s my own business when I do my homework, what classes I go to, how clean my room is… mind, now that it IS my own business, I seem to procrastinate and skip less, and clean my room more, so there you go.

Still, I’m not willing to call this goal done unless I can survive a holiday at home with no fighting – so I’ll see you after Christmas I guess.

alrite, so i’m gonna pour my heart out right now. i am 14 years old. i have a boyfriend who i have been with for over a year now. he means the world to me and then some. my mother knows this. but anyways, why i’m here. my mother and i have faught on and off my whole life. and when i run at the mouth she’d slap it and send me to my room. i was okay with it, until it started to hurt a few weeks ago. we are at the point where we can’t even talk to eachother with out getting in a fight, calling eachother names and everything. evntually she gets sick of me and slaps me. the other day though it got bad. she came over and honestly grabbed the side of my head an slammed it on the door frame of my bedroom. that set me off VERY bad. i started hollering and swearing and i couldn’t controll myself. she then grabbed my ears and my hair and was talking so hard she was spitting right in my face. i simply and calmly(surprizingly) said “mom you need o et go of my hair now before i flip out.” she had the nerve to say “I’m not letting go of anything.” so like i sad, i flipped. now i’m not a big girl, what so ever, maybe 110 lbs. she’s like 310. i didn’t do much damage. but i grabbed her hands , ripped them out of my hair, picked up my leg and gave her a shove. i have had enough. then last night she told me i needed to pack the rest of my stuff,cus were in the process of moving out of her boyfriends house(cus they were supposedt be breakin up but then they slept togetherlastnight so idk) and i was like yup, probly. and SHE flipped. i had a friend over too, btw. she brought me into her bedroom and started yelling and i was like mom! all i said was probly! and she hit my arm and i said DON’T TOUCH ME really loud and she hit me again and told me to shut up, and i was like well keep your hands off me! and i had hwrosts and pushed her away with them and let go and she jumps on on her bed, grabs my face with her hand and says you need to shut the fuck up now >:O and i now have finger nail marks on y face. i can’t handle this anymore. i know i have an attitude that needs working on but its not just me.

Puberty is just over…
and a lot of things are easier. :)

I seem to fight with my mom a lot lately. She doesn’t seem to appreciate the cleaning that I do, the grades that I get, that I avoid partying and drugs, or when I babysit my little sister for her. My twin brother is just the opposite. He’s failing classes, never does anything to help out, is always out with friends, and has tried pot (may even do it) and drinks almost every weekend. My mom knows this and is still nice to him, never grounding him or anything. I gave her a little attitude the other night because she hasn’t been appreciative and she grounded me because she didn’t like my attitude. Now she hasn’t talked to me for days and she just gives me dirty looks. I spent an entire day cleaning and she didn’t care about it. My brother was out drinking at 3 a.m. the other night, and she knows it, and she is still being incredibly nice to him. I feel like I am not respected at all and I don’t know how to be respected. She told me awhile ago that I would get an award for what I have accomplished academically, but my parents went out and spent the money on a snowmobile for my brothers. It’s like some kind of sick joke. I need to know how to try to make my mom see what I am good for. Im tired of being treated like this and I need some help! Please!

I think I’ve finally learned to respect and trust my mother. As long as she respects and trusts me, to be independent. We are not the same person, though we look alike. She’s figuring that out, I think.

We just fought on the phone. It was the usual. We shouted a bit, I told her to stop annoying me, she said I have no discipline, I cried a little, said she’s a worthless mother. Anyways, it ended with an I’m sorry… Actually that isn’t the usual. We usually end the fights with slamming doors. Progress, no?

Well, I had a really good conversation with my mother today. Honestly, I think just putting this up there as a goal (however distant the completion of it may be) is helping with everything; I’m trying not to be as quick in my snarky responses.

It seems to be helping—I hope everyone else is doing as well in the battle.