not hold grudges

I’m afraid my inability to let go of awful things is going to ruin my life. Every time I try to cut out bad feelings they come back more painfully than ever – like they say if you use anti-bacterial soaps and cleaning products around your home the germs that remain are incredibly strong and when they breed they evolve into something more dangerous.

I just can’t do it.

My pastor said this on Sunday “Holding a grudge is liking drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick. It just doesn’t work.” I’m doing really good at letting go and realizing that it has more to do with my attitude than the other person. Holding a grudge only kills yourself.

While I forgive freely, I’m not sure humans are designed to forget immediately. I believe in multiple chances, while maintaining emotional safety for myself. No one is on this earth to be a doormat.

I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to let it go. I know that it’s toxic and for the most part I’ve gotten over all of the really old grudges but there are few lingering ones that continue to pester me and I want, rather, I need to let go.