get pregnant

So according to the pregnancy test, my husband and I successfully conceived. Now comes the hard part (for me): staying pregnant. Ever since I found out about a week ago that I was pregnant, I have been obsessing over whether the baby is ok. I have my first dr. appointment on August 8th at which time they will give me an ultrasound to detect the baby’s heartbeat. This was the ultrasound that last time showed that the baby was NOT ok, so needless so say, I am terrified of this happening again.

My sister’s wedding is next weekend, so we are going to wait for sure to tell my family until after she’s had her day in the sun, so to speak. We may tell my husband’s family earlier because they are going through some rough times and maybe they need the good news right now.

I really hate the fact that I’m even writing this right now. My hubby and I had finally gotten pregnant after close a year of trying (I know, it’s really not that long but when it’s all you think about, it feels like eternity). Unfortunately a week and a half ago, I miscarried. So after receiving a clean bill of health from my doctor, we’re back on the trying circuit. We’re praying that we can get pregnant sooner this time around and that we won’t run into the complications that we did with this last pregnancy.

Good luck to all the rest of you out there trying, I know how emotional it can be!

I tHink it’S a gReat Idea tO hAve your belLy huGe for a cOupLe of montHs. ThouGh I am veRy afraiD of the gyneColoGist I wOulD like to haVe baBies witH the One I love.

your’s.

.

I want to get pregnant within the next year and actually keep it. I don’t want my body to fail me or my children anymore…

Since I can’t seem to make a decision about anything, I don’t know why this would be any different. I come complete with a college degree, loving husband, and brand new house, but find myself wondering if I’m even capable of motherhood, now that my husband and I are actually ready to start trying.

I know, I know, I know.

I’ve having cold feet and all women probably experience fear to some degree when making such a life altering decision, but I don’t know I have “the right stuff.” I’m more and more aware of my selfishness and inability to maintain the sanity that raising a child no doubt requires.

There was a never a point in my life when I didn’t look forward to having children. Until now.

Frick.

So my husband and I tried pretty hard this month to get pregnant, but it is still too soon to test and the anticipation is killing me. I have a pretty long cycle, so I probably won’t be able to test for another week! Also, I am leaving town and then my husband is leaving town and then I am leaving town again, so there are no more opportunities for “trying” this month. I just have to hope for the best. Really, the waiting is the hardest part. I feel like they should come up with a pregnancy test that can be taken anytime after implantation. Science is so advanced in other areas, it seems foolish that this can’t be accomplished. Why am I so impatient?!?

Also, I felt nauseated this morning. It’s too soon for that to be morning sickness, right? I never got sick with my prior ill-fated pregnancy, so I really have no idea. My last period started on June 20th, and I have a roughly 30 day cycle. I think it’s too early. Maybe it was just the shrimp I had last night disagreeing with me. Who knows.

Anyway – another update will be forthcoming when I feel that I am close enough to my expected period date to test. Another thing that bothers me – the expense of these darn pregnancy tests. They cannot be very expensive to make, sheesh.

So good luck to the rest of you ladies (and men?) out there who are also trying to conceive. Hopefully I’ll have another entry in about a week with some good news. Fingers crossed!

I am pretty much at the same point that I was in my last entry about this. It still isn’t the right time to have a kid. Honestly, I don’t think about it all that much right now, which is actually good. When I do think about it, it can be hard knowing that kids are not in my immediate or near future. But, with the timing not being all that great, it is just going to have to wait. Money isn’t that great, we still live with my dad, we still have debt, and we really just aren’t ready. So, I am going to give this about 6 months and revisit it and see where we are in the whole baby thing. I am going to leave this on my list of 43things, but we just aren’t actively trying for a baby yet. But someday, we will. :)

In at nutshell – I got pregnant around Christmas accidentally and had a miscarriage in February. Although the pregnancy caught both my husband and I off guard, we were really happy about it and devastated when I miscarried. Now we are going to actually try to get pregnant and I can’t shake the fear that either I will not be able to get pregnant or I will miscarry again. This is the 1st month of “trying” though we aren’t using any ovulation detection methods. I’d like to get pregnant as soon as possible because I hate feeling limited (no caffeine, alcohol, exercise) if I’m not actually pregnant.

I’m 36. I feel like time is running out.
If I miss out on this goal I have the other goal which is to “become a mommy”. That includes adoption and/or foster children. I have more love to give than my poor boyfriend can take.