Bubble is gone.
My HCG levels have dropped from 197 to 37 in the last 2 days but are not as low as they would like so I will need another blood test in a week or so.
Just drags on.
I think the worst part is that I will never know that fearless joy at seeing a positive pregnancy test.
With my son I didn’t really want it to be positive so I was scared, with this one, I willed those lines to appear and I was so happy I cried. I videoed my husbands reaction when he saw the positive tests.
I was (stupidly?) convinced that because I had gone through this already that a second pregnancy would be fine.
Now it is the opposite. I will fear the positive test, not because we don’t desperately want a baby, but because I won’t be able to enjoy the moment with the fear of another miscarriage hanging over me.
I know there is nothing to say we WILL lose a future pregnancy, but after one, your chances of another are higher. Or so I’ve read, as my various medical people haven’t actually asked me if I have any questions about what I am going through.
I am so glad my mum is visiting next week. 4 weeks ago