explore my spirituality without participating in organized religion

It’s been nearly a year since I first listed this goal and I can now say with a surety that I know I don’t need organized religion to maintain my spirituality. I believe there is a greater power out there in the universe and I know that I don’t need to sit in a church to know that it’s there.

The other day my mom was harping on me asking me when I was going to go back to church. I told her NEVER. I told her that I didn’t need to go there to be a good person. I’m not going back to the feeling of being judged or less perfect because I don’t fit in with the norms of a good little church girl. I’m happy with who I am and the 4+ years since I’ve been away from organized religion have been eye opening and perhaps the most personally satisfying for me. I’ve never been happier.

I’m feeling less and less angst everyday about the rift between spirituality and organized religion. I KNOW I can be spiritual with out organized religion and I think it is so freeing and wonderful. I think by my next post about this I’ll be able to check it off. :)

I made a rather long entry in my typepad blog about some of the hurdles I need to overcome in order to fully explore my spirituality without being tied down to the rules and control of the religion in which I grew up.

You can find the extended entry HERE, if you are interested in reading it.

A lot of my friends that I grew up with and met when I went to church as a kid and a teenager have changed for the worse because they’ve quit organized religion. I have some married friends who go to swinger parties and do illegal drugs on a regular basis. What they want to do with their leisure time is their business, but it just seems strange to me that, for them, morality doesn’t exist without organized religion.

I feel like if I want to be a spiritually-centered person, then I have to have some kind of understanding of how I want to live my life and that includes having some moral standards. Breaking the law and disregarding my wedding vows are things that I think would destroy what little good karma I have with me right now.

So what is my point here anyway? I guess I just want to reassure myself that just because I quit church like they did, I don’t have to go down a path of destruction and risk losing all the good things I’ve worked so hard to do to make my life the way it is today.

This was a tough goal to list because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have it written down. It’s just easier to ignore things like this but I decided to make a leap and list it anyway. This is kind of an idea that’s been in my head for about 3 years now (but it’s been something I’ve dealt with subconsciously my entire life). I was basically forced to go to church my whole life. There were times when I loved it and times when I hated it. Most of the time I felt out of place like I didn’t belong with all the “good” people – but good only meant that these people were adhering to the doctrines of the church. I guess I felt out of place because I felt like I was lying to everyone every week about who I really was. I feel more spiritual when I am out in nature and in awe of God’s creations. Organized religion seems to close me into a box where I don’t belong. I still have faith and I still believe in a higher power, but I think that people in organized religions taint true spirituality because churches become politically charged and whisperings occur between members and it can become a place that isn’t welcoming or spiritual – I’m not saying this is true everywhere, but this is what has happened in my personal experience. I imagine I’ll be making plenty more entries about this goal in the future – I’m really hoping to find a good balance and make an example to people that they don’t have to go to church in order to be moral or spiritual or a good person.