don't give up

I saw a quote the other day that went something like… “insanity is when you keep doing the same things over again and expect different results.” I think it was Albert Einstein or maybe someone else, a philosopher?. I’m sticking with Einstein… I’ll double check on google when I am finished rambling… (I think I am beginning to over use the …) anyways, this quote applies to me. I am being insane. why do I keep making the same mistakes again and again and again? When I am going to stop and make some changes? I can think about making changes and think about it and think about, make lists, draw pictures, write down in a journal a thousand times, but thats not gonna do it…nothing is going to change. It has to be more than that. I have to overcome fear, step out of my comfort zone to makes these changes… put myself in situations that will cause me to get stomped on. I run away… I keep running away, giving up… which is easy. Everything is always easy. because I make sure I keep it that way. no challenges… which in the end would mean a life of “nothingness” Staying on the same path, always doing things the easy way, staying comfortable. The funny thing is, my biggest fear is having a monotonous life, a boring meaningless life, but right now.. I am on the path for a BORING, MEANINGLESS life. I have to get off this path. I don’t know how to stop making these same mistakes. Why would anything change if I am not willing to change?

I feel like a lot of my goals are out of my reach. Things get overwhelming with work, school, life…and it’s easy to want to just crawl in bed and throw in the towel. I know I’m capable of achieving the things I want and being the person I want to be, but I can’t let every minor set back get me down. My goal is that every day, even if I am not making much progress or things aren’t going well, to not give up!

There are times when I truly enjoy this site, and want to blog about the progress of my goals, but then there’s other times when I really feel like it’s a chore. It’s sad, but I get there.

This is something that can’t be forced, so I will just let it be, and blog when I want.

I’ve used this website before now… in fact twice. Each time I have stayed for a few months, completed a few goals and slowly but surely drifted away from using this marvellous tool.

This time I’m going to be stronger willed. There are things I want to achieve, things I know that once I have achieved will make me tremendously happy. Life is for being happy and enjoying those things you’ve longed to do… so here goes nothing.

whatever you do, dont give up. if you do, you will be torn and broken and will never finish.

Little by little, one travels far.

I guess I feel like Im not getting anywhere lately so I have to remind myself that the small steps I take everyday are equally as important to giant leaps that may be accomplished.

i signed up for school again. This time I am going to try the Art Institute and I am KNOW (by the power of intention), that this is going to be a success! I am studying advertising and I feel that this program harnesses much more of my skill set and I will leave the Institute with a broad range of experiences and abilities that will allow me to fulfill my dream of running my own firm one day! Art director Liz, here I come!

I started school and one month in, the family that I nanny for informed me that they were expecting another child. Five kids to take care of 10 hours a day!!!! Then 4-5 hours of school a night…..it was just too much. My body gave out and I went into the hospital with severe exhaustion and adrenal failure. Not good. Needless to say, I quit school and have been trying to work through the first few months of life with a new born. We are at the five month point and I jsut NEED to be back in school. I NEED to be creative. I NEED a challenge. So, today I am reapplying for a better school, a more challenging school, one that I will be proud to graduate from. So, here’s not not giving up but to taking little side tracks….

“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.”
Barbara Hall, Northern Exposure, Rosebud, 1993

I am 30, I was about to give up and give in. I woke up and stood up to the fact that I dont have to give up.
So what if my marriage is over, Im not…I just got started..So what If i lost my house and had to move home for a bit…does that make me less of a woman..I have no kids and life is just becoming fresh again. Im not giving up!!!!!
” NEVER SURRENDER”

There are days I cry…there are days i laugh, this life has sent some pitfalls my way…yet i always have tomorrow to look forward to. Send the papers my way…ill sign them….say goodbye to me forever…i will wave….but dont think for one second i will look back….that would be giving up. We are broken for a reason, many reasons….going back with the set them free cliche’ is giving in and up!

I may not have all the riches in the world, but i still have people who love me, who know my name” and no it doesnt start with a b and end with an h.

Im noones maid, Im noones mommy, Im just here ready to live!

Never give up hope…never give up love…never give up dreaming,cause thats what keeps me alive…never give up trying for the best!