Are there any programs or online support groups or something that can assist me in this? 4 months ago
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Sometimes, I catch myself making unfair assumptions about women who are conventionally beautiful. I saw this woman the other day at the grocery store – blonde, gorgeous healthy tan, beautiful skin, petite and slim, in fantastic shape, looking fabulous just wearing her shorts and tank top with her hair up. While admiring her, I also caught myself assuming that she must be obsessed with working out, really superficial and judgemental about other women’s bodies and style. When I accidentally knocked over a display – embarassing but no damage done – she was the first to ask whether I was OK or needed help. I realized that I often make really stupid and biased judgements about women that I envy, while assuming that THEY are the ones who are mean-spirited. It’s not true. I have known a lot of gorgeous girls who are good friends, helpful and who don’t care nearly as much about appearances as I do. It’s just something they are secure in, so they don’t think about it as much. It’s kind of like intelligence: I know I am smart. I have always been told I am and I have the education that built it up and the achievements to reinforce that knowledge. I don’t think about it often but never feel insecure about it, but I know some people think I judge them for not being as smart, when most of the time, I don’t. I’m too busy trying to work on areas that I feel less secure in, like my body, health and appearance. 8 months ago
That’s deep! Jealousy is a natural characteristic. Setting your goals and believing in yourself, hence, putting yourself first, is always a helpful way to balance your feelings with jealousy and building self-confidence. 9 months ago
I have found myself recently struggling with jealousy issues.
I am currently in a long distance relationship and have recently found myself tied in knots about things I have come up with in my own mind.
My boyfriend loves me and I know that he would never cheat on me or anything to that extent but I am finding it difficult to control my wondering thoughts…
I am hoping that by making this a goal I can be more aware of it in my daily life and realize how silly it all is. 11 months ago
I’ve been in a relationship for over 2 years now, my jealousy has sky rocketed from no prob to everyone is a potential threat.
I don’t like it, It’s not who I am.
I trust my loved one, and by no means do I own him, he is and will always be free to do whatever his heart so desires.
I know I’m just afraid to lose him, and I also know that I never truly will no matter what, but…
It’s a feeling I can’t quite control. 11 months ago
Good: I wished a colleague the best for a year of teaching in France – that I really wanted!!! – and meant it. Since letting go of the gnawing feeling of envy, I have had much better interactions with her and feel more at peace with myself.
Bad: Almost didn’t meet a prospective student in our program because I was envious of her impressive CV. So embarassing to admit, but true. I did get over it though, and met her, and was welcoming, and the feeling went away. 12 months ago
When I was about six years old, my mother was driving and commented on a beautiful mural painted by some schoolgirls. I remember feeling irritated, and asking her whether she thought it was as good as my drawings. When she answered that she prefered this work, since it had been painted my multiple, older, more experienced hands, I flew into a rage and declared that I would paint something BETTER.
And so it began. Or perhaps it had begun before this. Anyway, for as long as I can remember, my downfall has been feeling inadequate and insecure about what I can do. I hate to admit it, but it often bothers me if someone close to me praises someone else on something that I pride myself on. I guess I want to believe I’m “special” and have a niche that no one can touch, because it seems that there is always someone better…
I’ve been jealous of
1) ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends that he didn’t even TALK about
2) any women who crossed his path
3) my friends for their various gifts, talents and accomplishments: beauty, a great body, races won, grades, degrees, positions, clothes
4) my brother for being what I am not
5) my co-workers
I used to think that if I could just be the BEST at everything, I wouldn’t feel this way. At six, I thought that a great drawing would solve everything, and at sixteen, I thought that having the best highlight, the tightest stomach and the longest legs would make me untouchable. And right now, I still cling to those feelings even though I know that peace comes when I realize my worth and feel that I am ENOUGH.
I think that self-esteem is closely linked to the physical body, so I am working to feel secure in mine, by doing things that are healthy for me.
It’s a first step. This is my life-long mountain, so I don’t have a clear plan to overcome it, just a few ideas and a willingness to change. 14 months ago