control my jealousy

The only real thing im worried about is what would she have done if my mate hadnt been there? I cant seem to drop it! Im never like this and to be honest im scared to find out whats going to come out in the wash. Im maybe jst angry with myself for having invested so much emotion in a person, and now in the flick of a switch ive gone from what ive always felt, stable and strong, to trying my best not to feel bitter and weak. WTF is that all about?

Im a guy, im 26, im in a relationship with a great girl who says she loves me, its just that lately her and her girl friend have been going to an exercise class and suddenly she has started talking about some guy called chris? For some reason this guy has both her and her friends ph numbers and texts them. She came in the other night after being out and mentioned his name a good 4 or 5 times and she seemed excited that she had met him out! I dont understand whats going on and if ive even any right in writing this? I asked her about it the next day when she was not tipsy anymore and she said i had nothing to worry about and that he sends the same messages to her as he does to her friend. But i was so worried about it still, because based on experience there was something too familiar about it, and in a moment of craziness i invaded her privacy and checked her ph inbox when she was showering which ive never done before and i feel terrible about, i was just panicked. He was asking if she was going to be out that night, she replied yeah she’s going to the night club and she will prob see him there, then at the end there was a message from him saying to come and get him when she’s leaving and they can share a taxi home! She didnt do that thankfully, one of my mates who’s a real gent walked her home to the front door. But theres always that burning thought in the back of my head eating at me thats saying “who is this guy? why do you keep mentioning his name and why is he asking to get a taxi home with you at the end of the night?” What should i make of that? I never ever ever thought that something like this would be an issue between us? We have always been so tight! The thought of it all makes my blood boil and i hate it! Knowing my luck if i make a big deal out of it i’ll prob end up pushing them both together, power of suggestion and all that! And im afraid if i keep bottling it up i might knock his head off if i meet him, like an angry pathetic neanderthal.

I just haven’t been the same since becoming jealous of what other’s have or are able to do! I don’t know why but it’s keeping me from doing things I used to enjoy! And it bums me out when I see something nice that another has. This has to be nipped in the bud- it’s such an awful way to live!

I actually dread going out places with my BF, as there will be pretty girls and he will be looking at them. Totally irrational i know!!
He does look at women and talk about them all the time but i know he would never cheat, I do trust him.
It just makes me feel like shit when he looks around when he’s got me. In fact I could punch him right in his face!
I’m not short of attention myself but i am all his and he knows it.

I guess past experiences have left me with emotional scars.
How to stop it????
Counselling maybe? I have spoken to him about my jealous feelings which just makes me feel weak and as though he has my weakness in his hands.
God that sounds rough when i read it back.
Time and trust??

This is one thing I want to be able to deal wth sooner rather than later. It affects my everyday life and relationships and i’m scare of losing the people who mean the most to me.

ppl are always said that female has jealous more than male.. and i’m one of those female i’ve to say YES lol

I have a few setbacks, every so often hormones take control and it clouds up my way of thinking. There’s so much going on it’s hard to keep all my emotions on one level. Whilst I feel i’ve conquered part of the green-eyed monster there are other parts I still have to work on, and to be completely honest I don’t think they will ever be resolved. I believe it’s just a part of me, how my experiences have shaped me. People always talk about how things help you grow and be a better person, well I think this one thing isn’t going to help me be a better person but it’s making me a person. I care about things…I care so much about my relationship I want to make damn sure nothing is going to ruin it. Lets just say I’m coming to terms with the fact my emotions can’t just be put away, they’re out there, they’re here to stay and they’re just showing exactly how much things mean to me.

So this is it for controlling my jealousy, I’ve found a way of coming to terms with it rather than controlling it, and I think I’ll be okay from now on.

This is getting so much easier since writing it all down and figuring out ways to control it. I think there’s a better understanding between me and my boyfriend after talking about my feelings, and he’s always been honest about everything. There are times when I get the swirly feeling in my gut and I start to get snappy but that’s happening less and less! He’s always been my everything and I can appreciate him even more now my jealousy is going away.

green eyed dragon is one of the most amazing experiences ever. I’ve bared the weight of irrational jealousy for sooooo long now.

And one night I was just lying in my bed an I asked myself why I was irrationaly jealous over EVERYTHING. And I came to the conclusion that it was just so stupid. And I said to myself, “i’m about to lose someone i love because i’m being so udderly STUPID!”

And from that point on, i’ve been much happier.

It’s a task easier said than done.

But so worth doing.

My boy is the nicest person I know. He’s never nasty, he treats me like a princess, he’s good to all his friends, and always thinks of other people before himself. So why do I get jealous?

It should be the other way around, other girls should be so jealous of me! (And I think some of them really are). I have one of ‘those’ guys. Those that don’t disregard our feelings, those that make the effort to make us feel good, those that send you little texts or emails just to say that they love you and you mean the world to them. I have a guy that tells me he loves me almost every hour let alone every day!

Sometimes I understand why I feel the way I do and other times I can’t figure out why my head fights my heart. But I do feel like I’m further on in this goal.

Last week I had a really hard time with a couple of problems I just couldn’t shake off. When I get frustrated I get mad and take it out on him, which I know he doesn’t deserve. I can never talk when I’m angry because I just end up getting upset or it not turning into the discussion I wanted to have. This weekend I gave myself time to calm down and we chatted about my worries when I was feeling more confident. This worked out really well and we had a great talk, much better than me getting upset and not wanting to discuss anything.

So there, I feel I’ve moved further in trying to control my jealousy. I know that if I’m feeling bad I just need to say so and we can talk about it once I’m calm.