I am doing better these days. It took awhile for me to get to this point. I think starting work again really helped with this. Having a lot of free time to wallow in my misery certainly wasn’t helping things any. I still get down sometimes (particularly regarding that whole business with the broken heart a few months back) but I’m no where near where I was a few months ago, even on the bad days. I’m even thinking about starting to date again. Maybe. 5 days ago
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Having a very hard time right now. Some dumb stuff happened with a dude I really like and I’m totally in a depression hole. Probably am drinking a bit too much also, which makes me feel better temporarily but doesn’t help things in the long run.
I’ve let myself wallow for several days now. Tomorrow I am going to force myself out of the house. I will run my errands, I will go see some bands play, I will go for a walk. I will text some friends. I will start living my life again even if I have to fake it.
When will things start going my way? 2 months ago
I think I need to start taking my SNRIs again. I was okay for awhile, so I went off of them a few months, but things took a dive with my love life and I’m back in the hole. Having a really hard time getting over this last one.
Will refill sometime this week. I hate this. 5 months ago
I have lost any sense of the future yet being out of work means I am closer to achieving goals than I was when I was working and without having any time to myself. I’ve done more than ever in the past year. I’m worried about having to go back to finding work though as I have nothing to account for the past year. I haven’t been claiming any benefit (live with my folks) and only spending on food so I haven’t been pushed to work. This was not the exciting life I thought it would be out of work though. At the same time, work was killing me. Maybe I will find my way. The worst thing is that I have become very nervous of people and feel very judged. I think watching very judg-y TV shows probably creates this anxiety. I just don’t like myself very much when I am with people. I am 1/10th of my real self – super polite and submissive when that’s not me. I resent it. I am just not enjoying life at the minute. I wish I could find even a small joy. Everything feels like hard work. 5 months ago
I’ve been tracking my moods since before I got back on antidepressants. At first I thought it may have been a “pink cloud” situation, but it’s been six weeks now and it seems like my outlook is consistently better. It’s nice to be able to move on with my life after being stuck in that hole for so long. Years, even.
This has also allowed me to move on from the rejection I’ve experienced this year. That is really a giant weight off my shoulders. 8 months ago
Not feeling so great. Irritable. Didn’t sleep well. Disorganized. Vulnerable. Controlling. 9 months ago
Slept ok last night, had crazy dreams. Not especially organized or not. Lethargic and just doing whatever, but with moderately high motivation. Low to moderate sociability. No significant irritability. Got some exercise. Personalized some comments. Grandiose religiosity maybe. Ate OK, diet was a B minus with all the snacking and skipping lunch. 9 months ago
-sleep quality, excess?
-organization, self-care, home-care
-risk taking, spending habits, dependency, computer use, video games, looking for an easy out,
-motivation, concentration, on-task,
-exercise, lack luster
-grandiosity, zelot, doom-gloom
-irritability/tolerance, temper, aggression
-diet, appetite 10 months ago
Stayed active. Did some work out yoga stuff, and ran around the block a few times. Work went well, tried to focus only on the positive. Didn’t really talk to anyone outside of work. Did a fair bit of reading. Proud of myself. Feeling progress. 10 months ago
Feelings of depression were down, but behaviors were moderate. The day was slow in getting it together. Tried a few maladaptive strategies for getting my day started. Did not manage my time well. Used computer poorly. Still got everything done. Got to work just on time. Had to sacrifice coffee. Had a good phone call at a bad time. Got copies made. Took accountability for the schedule mix up. Moderate attention in meetings. No depressive feelings. Ate OK. Stayed on track. Moderate avoidance and procrastination. Still finished. 10 months ago
heres how to beat it: eat ur fav food, run around ur neighborhood 15 times, do whatever the bleep makes u happy, watch the tellatubbys while eating caffinated pistachio pixy stix flavored ice-cream, then drink 1 cup of mint tea filled with sugar, buy a thousand lil puppys, last but not least, do it all over again. this the best pic i can find to describe this… ps im not tryin cause im 10 10 months ago