have true friends

How I did it: I stopped making effort to keep in touch with the bad friends, and they dropped away like the dead wood they were!

I also changed the way I rated friends, valuing positivity, supportiveness, trust and a good sense of their own selves over popularity, "fun", and the more superficial things.

I put more energy into getting to know people that I thought I had a connection with, and my litmus test was "if something went wrong - say I had a fight with my boyfriend and arrived on their doorstep - how would they react?" I want friends who really give a damn about me and will be there for me. Those who were, I strengthened bonds with and spent more time on.

I also became a bit more self-reliant: I tried to stop looking outside of myself for validation, and value myself for who I was - that way I was less likely to put up with people who didn't treat me well, and I didn't feel like I "needed" to have friends in the same way. I was confident enough to not need lots of friends to make me feel good - I could be true to myself and have a few real friends instead.

Lessons & tips: If you start valuing and being true to yourself, refusing to compromise on what matters to you, you will probably find the bad friends just naturally drop away. You don't have to actively "dump" them: if you stop wasting your energy on them they will drift away if they aren't real friends.

It's all about valuing yourself really, and knowing you deserve better. Don't feel you have to conform to be accepted - find some people like you instead!

Sep 24, 06:46AM PDT | 2 comments | 6 cheers