increase my self esteem

I have noce photos of myself all over my bedroom, to remind myself I can look good.

avoiding situations that make me feel bad is a great help./
I would highly recommend it.
why be around people that make you feel like less?

My constant shopping is out of control.
Its mainly cosmetics and clothes, I can’t get enough.

I feel I have not achieved in my life because of lack of belief in myself..
Where to start?

I’m learning to love me for me. I know that I do everything I can to be the best person I can be so there isn’t any reason not to be totally proud of myself and love myself with my whole heart. :D

I just want to be happy with myself for the person that I am. I don’t want to keep being my own worst critic. I am a very positive person, I just want to put that positivity to my thoughts on myself. ;)

my self esteem suffers when people yell at me… even though I know it is their anger… It hurts. I need to walk away much sooner. I am very sensitive and it hurts me and makes me scared and depressed.
also… I seem to have no friends … not sure if it is because I work all the time, or just cuz I am not from here… ( i have lived here since 85 but it is like a different country/culture to where I come from and where I hope to end up living again.
I have honestly tried to make friends… I am not happy that it is this way… I have stopped being friendly and going out of my way because it really does not help.
I actually feel better when I do not try.
even my landlady told me that many people do not want to get involved with a single mom and she said” they do not want it to contaminate their life… and she also said ” I do not want your problems to become mine”
she meant it in a generic way. but it really felt depressing to hear that.
she says married people will think that.
wow.
I have also decided that accepting charity is not good for my self esteem. I mistook it for friendship. I told my landlady that the church gave my kids presents at Christmas and they were nice at the time but then the ladies involved do not continue talking to me.
that really separated me from the ‘community” in a way that hurt my self esteem.
I will not be accepting charity from anyone anymore.
I do not want to be the “charity case”
I know it is a wonderful thing for the poor to accept charity cuz it does make the giver feel good… and coming from me… there are others who are more in need now, as my business is taking off… and I would prefer a friend…
it is really sad.

playing more music and movies and not having commercial tv or radio( except on sunday morn we do get breakfast with the Beatles and THE DEEP END a good program on music from the 60s and 70 s and it goes all morning…
anyway… not having commercials and laugh tracks and stupid stories( the news is stupid _
we feel much better self esteem.
The kids have some soundtracks to their fave movies. High school Musical, for instance.

I have been painting more lately and it really has made me feel great and my kids and I together painting makes us all feel great. Easter it was cold out and I had this headache, so we sat around and painted eggs on water color paper. they are now hanging in front of the fireplace.
yesterday I helped my daughter do her book report. she did all the drawings and I helped fill in the paint areas.
she stands in front of the class today and narrates the storyboard . it is like 20 ft long and bright and cute, Roald Dahl Matilda.

instead of thinking people do not like me, and feeling bad about, and trying to improve the r-ship( especially when related to the person) I need to start just praying for the person.
I mean, many times I think they are shunning me, or rejecting, or some thing like that…
making me feel like a loser..
when at times I need to remember that their own choices they are making are possibly affecting their own ability to be honest or happy.
IT ALSO MIGHT MAKE THEM UNABLE TO really appreciate the joy in life, or the generosity or light in others- due to their own choices… such as… not really being honest, denying their own feelings, resentment.. health problems that are neglected, worries, negativity abounding.

Not caring for their own spirituality, having the priorities that cause them to constantly be competing…
these are not my doing.
I know some for a fact are living an unhappy abusive relationship, dysfunctional.. so why do I continue to try to have a fun time with these negative people?
need to stop hoping! and INSTEAD PRAY FOR THEM. Only God can touch them and help them see the better path for themselves and also, pushing myself on them, even my own grown kids, yeah they ought to love and respect me, but when they show they do not appreciate, then I better back off, cuz that hurts me

• The need for good will from the others.
• The need for emotional support.
• The need to be heard by the other and to be responded to with respect and acceptance
• The need to have your own view, even if others have a different view.
• The need to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
• The need to receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
• The need for clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
• The need to for freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
• The need to live free from criticism and judgment.
• The need to have your work and your interests respected.
• The need for encouragement.
• The need for freedom from emotional and physical threat.
• The need for freedom from from angry outburst and rage.
• The need for freedom from labels which devalue you.
• The need to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
• The need to have your final decisions accepted.
• The need for privacy at times.