Appreciate where I am - right here and right now

I know people must often go through rough times for the good times to arrive…. I have been there before, but it is hard to see this and fully comprehend this goal under the amazingly dark cloud that i havd found myself under. I have been in such horrible financial hardship for the last several years… and it is just now getting worse right before a fresh start. I have to let go the negative thinking patterns that are holding me here and keeping me fromletting go and enjoying my day to day life. I need to appreciate the now….. there is so much more going on right now than my problems and my issues. These are what I need to focus on.

This is such a challenge for me… because right now where I am is not what I want in my life….. but I think that I need to hold onto the fact that only THIS, right now right here, IS LIFE! There is no past or no future… just right now moments. One day I will be able to look back and say remember when….. and have some memories of being fully alive in my moments. To have remembered LIVING, not just existing. Tomorrow I will attempt to stop and befully in the moment, I will make myself do this several times throughout the day. I will really see the world, listen, smell and experience. Tomorrow is my first day- NO TONIGHT is the only moment I have. I am there now, and I can do this.

I am really grateful for having so much. I have an amazing partnership with an amazing man, who loves me and needs me and wants us to build a future together. I have a cool job where I get to use a load of different skills and learn new things without it being majorly stressful. I have a place to live and to be that is just right for my needs and inspires me. And I have a whole load of brilliant friends who I can actually be honest and myself with, and who between them see all the different sides of my character.

There’s no reason, with this basis, why I can’t go on and do all the things I dream about.

a person is meant to be at each stage of their lives as they arrive to it for a particular reason, and beacause of a particular event and choice. i know that i have done this year, met these people, left people behind, spent all my money, seen what i have seen, and exist as am american for a reason. beacuse everything happens as part of some scheme, and something somwhere will make me stop and think and realise, that i was supposed to experience this year, and to learn about myself as a person and to know where i am going next. i can appreciate and understand what i did, and the choices i made, to lead me where i am now, and where i am to be.

this does not mean that I need to accept where I am. I just want to appreciate and learn from my current circumstance.

There U are!

I am still going to be right here. So I might as well revel in it. Things are going to be different later and I will loose now if I don’t live it.