Reconnect with an old friend

This was one of those eerie coincidences. Yesterday morning, I sent an email to an old friend whom I haven’t spoken with in about two years. After lunch, there was a message from him on my machine, and I naturally assumed he was responding to my email. When I returned the call and was speaking with him, I noticed that my Outbox was still full. My messages weren’t going out.

He had never received my email, but just happened to call me on the same day I had decided to email him.

Odd.

Maybe I set some cosmic ball rolling when I contacted old high school friends. Last night I was at a meeting when my phone rang. It was a buddy from college I haven’t spoken with since 1995. We discussed getting together for a hike at Big South Fork this spring.

I’ve made an effort on this, at least. I had one particular friend in mind when I posted this goal. He and I had a bit of a falling out a few years ago, and I wanted to try to mend some fences. He has since gotten married and had a daughter. I called him three times and left a message, but he never got back with me. He told a mutual acquaintance of ours that he’s just very busy at this point in this life. So, I made the effort. The ball is in his court now.

In April, I got together with some old high school buddies, most of whom I hadn’t seen in 15 years. We’re doing that again in September, and I’ve spoken with a couple of them this summer. So, because of this, I hereby declare this goal fulfilled.

My old friend replied quite quickly, and turned out to be going through a major life upheaval – very sad and emotionally draining. I’m so glad that I’m once again in a position to offer whatever long-distance support I can.

And 18 days ahead of my deadline, which is quite a rare accomplishment for me. I must have been really ready to finally move on this.

I’m fairly certain that I’ll receive an answer: in the past, despite significant gaps in our contact (with each of us contributing to those periods of silence, chiefly because we just get busy), neither of us has ever held a grudge against the other for being a less-than-reliable correspondent. Each of us has always just been happy to hear that the other is alive and well, and eager to hear all the news that’s fit to print.

It’s one of those friendships of the heart in which we can just pick up more or less where we left off and resume delighting in each other’s long-distance company as if we’d chatted only yesterday.

Whatever happens, though, is fine. As this very friend taught me nearly 30 years ago, “Reality is perfect.” I release to the Universe all attachment to the outcome of my having sent this message. If the Universe sees fit to once again deliver the great gift of this marvelous being’s presence in my life (not just in my thoughts), I’ll feel blessed. If not, I’ll still have been blessed by having known such a deep, long-lasting affection for as long as I did.

Yesterday, while working toward another goal (organizing my photos), I came across some old snapshots of this friend. Put them near my computer screen, and sure enough, this morning they inspired me to use a spare half-hour to add a couple of paragraphs to the draft I had started.

Just need to re-order one bit and flesh out another, and I can send it. Maybe even tonight.

...Now just need to finish and send it.

The more time goes by, the harder this is to do. But I miss this person’s friendship, and I’m the one whose “turn” it is (and has been for more than a year) to write.

There have been gaps in our correspondence before, and each time, my eventual attempt to reconnect has been greeted with unalloyed delight and complete understanding of whatever circumstances “got in the way” of my writing sooner.

So I am now challenging myself to complete this goal no later than August 16 (my birthday).

I did this.

A friend found me on myspace.

We had a 10 year hiatus after a big fight. Now she’s my best friend again. and she even has a daughter for me to love and see grow up.

You know, we were best friends for a very long time. We knew everything about eachother and she practicly lived at my house. So it isn’t any surprise to me, that what broke up our friendship (her being infatuated with her boyfriend) is what is still keeping us from being friends. Its actually quite sad. I saw her at the bank, and we reconnected and actually made plans. When I called her to confirm these plans she was “babysitting with her bf”...ya right. And then we never kept in touch again. I think what I have learned from all of this is that people come and go in your life, and if they aren’t there in your life anymore they aren’t meant to be there so that is why I am not persuing this friendship anymore. And if I were to see her on the street again, I would walk right past her.

Even though I do like this goal, and I do feel like I have some what accomplished it. I also feel as though it is unrealistic. For what ever reason there may be people come and go in my life, and they are meant to either be there in that moment, or not. This one friend of mine, we pretty much grew out of dorkiness together, we had been best friends for over 4 years, and then High School started, and we drifted. I didn’t really like her BF, and we were going in diffrent directions on the social scene as well. We ended up getting into a huge fight one day, and never really talked again. It was one of the most hurtful devient fights I had ever been in, and to this day it hurts. Anyway I have seen her twice this year, which is pretty random. The last time I saw her, she made a big deal about it. We caught up on eachothers lives, and exchanged phone numbers to grab coffee one morning togther. I ended up calling her mid- this week. Whenever she didn’t call me back, I just thought it was the royal brush off, and thought okay, well maybe she was just putting on a show. She ended up calling today, and I thought hmm..maybe this will work out. We made plans. Within a few hours, she called to cancel. I thought to myself, okay this is strange. I really do miss the girl, but this was kind of shady today. I guess we will soon see if this was a “Worth doing!” or “Not Worth it” post….