be my own best friend

that I don’t really have a choice about this since it’s just me here. :)

I feel like I can glimpse a truth, but only through the corner of my eye. As soon as I turn my full attention to it, it vanishes.

Maybe it’s unrealistic to expect to always stay with one emotion. Perhaps I will change this goal to accept that my moods will shift.

I’m breathing through the sadness and trying to stay busy: laundry, clipping lawn, dishes…

So sad… Miss my husband while he’s away at training. Let’s see, after today it’s 5/30 = 1/6 or almost 17% of the way done! After Sunday it will be 20% done! Hang in there…

This is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I’m not sure why. :)

My birthday was superduper and not at all the no-fun i was so pessimistically expecting!! On my goal : still heading in the right direction! I come to realize that being my own best friend mainly means not being afraid of who i am, trusting myself and my decisions, understanding that being true to myself will only make me lose things i didn’t want in the first place and make me gain things i have always wanted and needed. I LOVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s a lot of ‘reshaping’ to be done, but now i’m all excited about it, instead of dreading it. And come to think of it : it ain’t even all thát much. An the really good part is : once you get started, many things reshape themselves, without any extra effort, like a bonus, a free-bee, a reward. Whoooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

I believe i’m getting tuned in to the right frequency. Stuff i’d never noticed before is getting real clear to me and i manage to react in an assertive way. I’m amazed! This just might be what people refer to as ‘mature’. I choose to no longer make excuses for other peoples stupid, ignorant behavior (toward me and others) and i’m (apparently) developing a picture of what it is i want to do with my life and how i want to do it. Seems i’m finally starting to really get to know and understand how i function. Like i’m on top of things. All this and more. Btw, I ordered the book as a birthdaypresent to myself. Think I’ll have it by the 13th. Woohooo!!

I will treat myself the way that I treat others. I choose to make loving choices with every opportunity presented to me. Self love! Good rest, deep breaths, conscious movement, whole foods, constant laughter, affirmative prayer, daily journaling, creative writing, constant playing, passionate loving! Learning, evolving, knowing and trusting. More nature, more fun! Photography, family, friends, a pet. Get organized! Keep clean. Watch more movies, read more books, be more social! I will take myself on dates once a week. Keep a gratitude journal. Drink more water. Take more baths. Respect my body! Respect my car! Respect my finances! Keep only what helps my being. Self acceptance, self adoration. I am listening to my spirit and taking heed. I receive!

The efforts i have made up ‘till now were rather pathetic. I will, but I don’t… It’s my birthday next thursday and i’m allready stressing about how no-fun it’s probably gonna be. I’m just generally feeling off track . I’m fully aware of the changes i have to pull myself thru in order to be exactly the person i want to be, know i can be and know i should be, but do absolutely nothing to accomplish that. This feeling of malcontent i’m experiencing and practically becoming is irritating and frustrating me and is also my biggest blessing at the moment, because it’s that precise feeling that tells me it’s time to change. I have to go to work now, but I will be back to ‘reflect’ on this major challenge. A plan de campagne is what i need. I started on that just yesterday and several incidents confirm that it’s the right thing to do.
More about this later.