be my own best friend

My birthday was superduper and not at all the no-fun i was so pessimistically expecting!! On my goal : still heading in the right direction! I come to realize that being my own best friend mainly means not being afraid of who i am, trusting myself and my decisions, understanding that being true to myself will only make me lose things i didn’t want in the first place and make me gain things i have always wanted and needed. I LOVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s a lot of ‘reshaping’ to be done, but now i’m all excited about it, instead of dreading it. And come to think of it : it ain’t even all thát much. An the really good part is : once you get started, many things reshape themselves, without any extra effort, like a bonus, a free-bee, a reward. Whoooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

I believe i’m getting tuned in to the right frequency. Stuff i’d never noticed before is getting real clear to me and i manage to react in an assertive way. I’m amazed! This just might be what people refer to as ‘mature’. I choose to no longer make excuses for other peoples stupid, ignorant behavior (toward me and others) and i’m (apparently) developing a picture of what it is i want to do with my life and how i want to do it. Seems i’m finally starting to really get to know and understand how i function. Like i’m on top of things. All this and more. Btw, I ordered the book as a birthdaypresent to myself. Think I’ll have it by the 13th. Woohooo!!

I will treat myself the way that I treat others. I choose to make loving choices with every opportunity presented to me. Self love! Good rest, deep breaths, conscious movement, whole foods, constant laughter, affirmative prayer, daily journaling, creative writing, constant playing, passionate loving! Learning, evolving, knowing and trusting. More nature, more fun! Photography, family, friends, a pet. Get organized! Keep clean. Watch more movies, read more books, be more social! I will take myself on dates once a week. Keep a gratitude journal. Drink more water. Take more baths. Respect my body! Respect my car! Respect my finances! Keep only what helps my being. Self acceptance, self adoration. I am listening to my spirit and taking heed. I receive!

The efforts i have made up ‘till now were rather pathetic. I will, but I don’t… It’s my birthday next thursday and i’m allready stressing about how no-fun it’s probably gonna be. I’m just generally feeling off track . I’m fully aware of the changes i have to pull myself thru in order to be exactly the person i want to be, know i can be and know i should be, but do absolutely nothing to accomplish that. This feeling of malcontent i’m experiencing and practically becoming is irritating and frustrating me and is also my biggest blessing at the moment, because it’s that precise feeling that tells me it’s time to change. I have to go to work now, but I will be back to ‘reflect’ on this major challenge. A plan de campagne is what i need. I started on that just yesterday and several incidents confirm that it’s the right thing to do.
More about this later.

Accept myself as a vulnerable, imperfect human being with blind spots, weaknesses, faults. Let that acceptance be extended to others as well.

why is it so much easier to help others than one self

- taking care of my finances. I didn’t like working with money, and learned to change my attitude about it. Instead viewing it as a chore, I try to view it as an investment. When I invest time in managing my finances, the return is often astronomical.

- eating one grapefruit a day.

- spending time alone. This one is important and so easy to forget.

If a friendship is not picture perfect, if a boyfriend doesn’t say the right things, if a friend doesnt goggle over me and want to be with me all the time- I get upset.

This goal has nothing to do with my friends, for they have been great. What is stopping me from seeing how great they are is my utmost dependence on them.

I am not independent. If a freind chooses to hangout with a friend and not invite me, rather than shrug my shoulders and call someone else, or start my homework I get upset, I worry, I think.

i need to have my own life. I am coming on to almost my third year of college. I am not a little girl who needs babysititng. I need to be my own best friend and pursue my own things

PEOPLE READ THIS PARt PLEASE:

I just really want to share this with someone. (So besides your family most of the time) Friends come and go. Seriously, they do, SOME do stay and we are all so thankful for them. But many people go in and out of our lives, some come in and say hello, some change our lives.

THe only person who is truly there for you, and you know will be there for you tomorrow, and ten weeks from now- IS YOURSELF.

If people come and go, why give them more importance, more love, more comfort than yourself?

It’s great to love other people, but I think once people AND MYSELF really love ourselfs and enjoy being with ourselves, things will fall into place.

I LOVE ME. Or er, I’ll try.

What if I can periodically step back and look at myself with an outsider’s perspective, and treat myself the way I would treat a best friend?

while talking to someone, for the first time ever, I said “maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself”. I think I was verbally articulating a certain situation, and by the end of it I guess even I saw how unfair I was being with me.

Maybe I need to examine certain elements out loud, to see/admit the full picture.