I do love my wine with dinner but one too many times it has turned into a shit show where I can’t stop drinking until I wind up passing out with my clothes on. I embarrass myself, suffer awful hangovers that cause me to cancel obligations and call out of work, and bring my self esteem down several notches. I feel like its a total waste of time and money. It is damaging to my health. However, I’m constantly going back and forth on whether to quit completely or not because there are some nights when I can stop at one or two with no problem. I feel like its difficult to have a social life without drinking which is very important to me. 21 months ago
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Just thought I’d give another update. I didn’t relapse completely, although I have been drunk a few times since last summer. Mostly these days I don’t drink at all. I allow myself one or two drinks every couple of weeks. Once every two months I might even allow myself to get drunk. The rest of the time I’m still taking those anti-alcohol pills.
My urge to get wasted is disappearing too. I would rather go down to the gym most days than get drunk. I’ve lost some weight too. 2 years ago
I do not drink too often.
I do not depend on alcohol.
I can have fun without alcohol.
HOWEVER, sometimes when I drink too much, I do not like who I become. When I lose control of my own decisions and when I do/say things I later regret or did not mean. That I do not like. It is being able to stop at that point where I know I will no longer be who I really am and become an unconscious mind, letting alcohol make decisions for me. Is being in control the entire time what I need to aim for. Is knowing when to STOP. 2 years ago
I have been focused on many other things..Haven’t gone OUT OUT in a while. Haven’t taken shots or gone crazy. But I know that certain things change my mood dramatically and if I drink slow enough to acknowledge this then I can stop myself before I become rediculous….
Although after a bad event I have a honest need to either sleep it off or drink it away. Drink till I forget about the bad stuff and just do stupid things.
SIGH I’m still a bit of a mess.. but I don’t mind it necessarily. 3 years ago
Well, sort of. I have now successfully stayed off alcohol for 33 days. And a couple of months ago I managed to do it for 32 days. My current run should last a few more weeks though.
I must confess though, I have had some help. Through will power alone I was able to restrict my drinking to weekends only, and not too much then. But the only way I found that I could stop drinking then is by taking these pills. The pills mean that if I drink alcohol then I become very sick. I need to not take the pills for a few days before I can safely drink something, so it means that I can control my weekend drinking by taking pills on weekdays – in other words, if I change my mind on a Friday night, I still can’t drink for a few days. To a certain extent, this is cheating, but that’s just a way of looking at it.
The important thing is, I have stopped drinking. As the months go by, I will get used to this new life, and lose those bad habits I used to have. My metabolism and brain chemistry will return to normal and hopefully I can get on with my life.
I’m not saying this has been easy. Actually the real hard part is just beginning. It’s very very difficult to go out socially and be the only one not drinking. I’m quite a shy person, which doesn’t help. But I have done it a couple of times, and each time, I hope, it will get easier.
Then there’s meeting women. I’ve never been able to make a move on a girl without a few drinks in me, tragic though that sounds. My love life would have been a lot more empty over the years without good old booze.
I’m also nervous about flying sober. But these are all things I’ll have to learn to live with.
Will I never drink again? No I think I will. I will stay on these pills most of the time, then once every month or so I might let myself drink, especially if there’s a party coming up. I’ve lost my taste for beer, so there is less danger of getting completely wasted when I do drink. Also it’s easier to control things if I only need to use my self control once in a while.
I’m going to mark this thing as done. I haven’t solved all my problems, but who has. I’ve learned to control my drinking. Here’s to that! 3 years ago
I suffer from severe Bipolar and OCD, and drinking is my way to relax temporarily from the symptoms of my disorders. I try to drink only two glasses of red wine per night, but often I can’t stop there and go on to three. I’m not sure the drinking itself would be so bad if it weren’t for all the medication I have to take. I know that I am not supposed to drink on medication. The medication is an inconvenience to me. It has horrible side effects (tiredness, over-eating, confusion) and basically just tranquilizes me. It’s not a fun way to live. But alcohol is fun for me. There’s nothing better than when I can relax in the evenings with my wine. It’s like my little escape, a way that I have found that works for me to relax. After I am done relaxing, however, I often don’t know what to do with the rest of my evening. I feel guilty. I often hurry to finish what I must do to prepare for the next day (dishes, laundry, etc.) while feeling completely miserable and then hurrying off to bed so I can escape my feelings with sleep. Once I get to sleep, I sleep for a very long time and don’t want to get up. I used to be interested in reading or writing before sleep and now do neither. I try to have faith in a Higher Power that can help me better understand life, but no matter how much I try to believe, I just can’t seem to do so 100%. I am hoping that if I can start having a few non-drinking nights per week, I will appreciate feeling sober and clear-headed and decide to make all of my nights non-drinking ones. 3 years ago