Engage in phone sex with the next Telemarketer that calls

• If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

• Say “no” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

• If a phone company calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends, would you be my friend?”

• If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout…”

• If the company cleans rugs, respond: “Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?”

• Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Me either!” Hang up.

• Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.

• Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”

• Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

• When the salesperson asks, “Is this the homeowner?” say, “Is this the salesperson?” And when they say, “Yes,” hang up.

Its a conspiracy – no telemarketers have called in the past week even.

I got all excited because I got more of those calls where no one is there last week – thinking that they were working out when I was home that I’d be getting a call soon, but still now offshore telemarketing call centre has used my phone number

Have all the telemarketers tapped my computer and know that i have this goal? Because none of them have rung since I made this a goal.

Very sad.

No telemarketers have called for the last 13 hours – I think they may know something!!

I’ve imagined if I had tried it on the last one that I got – it was the gas company trying to get me to move to smooth bill pays. I also imagined the one before that – her name was Di and she was trying to sell me wine – I could have asked her about the dimensions of the necks of the bottles and if she had ever used then as a way of arousing herself. I could have asked if it was practical use them as a double sided dildo. Whilst that isn’t exactly phone sex – it would have been an interesting conversation.

I love the way you think man – so much that I am adopting this goal with all the enthusiasm I can manage.

I’m going to be hanging out now for an annoying telemarketing call. I hope to god I either get some woman and freak her right out or some really hot guy that is willing to play along.

We tend to get Indian Call Centre people – I’d love to have phone sex with one of them – they wouldn’t understand half of it – like if I asked them to put their big crank in me. (I want someone to call me now!!!)

I’d love to know how Naked Superman intended to do this!!