Find motivation

I want to find what is going to push me in life. What is going to be my motivation to succeed and live life to the fullest.

I’ve been able to crush the negative and unrealistic thoughts that swirl in my head much better lately; you’d be surprised at how much clarity that will bring you.

I proscrastinate on almost everything. This entry is due to procrastinating on a project. I don’t understand why I am so unmotivated to do the things I need to do. I know that it is a huge relief when I accomplish something or “just get it out of the way”. It’s a lot less stress. So…why not just do it?

I find it awfully funny that I was on this kick about making my life better in general and then I got really, really sick the day I declared to begin all of these major changes. I went to the doctor today and he says it’s an upper respiratory infection. He gave me some excellent drugs though, I don’t remember the last time I was this sick I guess drugs have come a long way. So I’ve put my life changing plans on a very temporary pause until I feel better.

The up side, you may ask?

I feel even more determined to change for the better. I think I’m the kind of person that feeds on struggle in a strange way. When my life get’s to cushy I get lazy. Is that weird?

It is easy to set a goal, what is not easy is to achieve it. Finding motivation not to slackent down is something i would love to do.

I would love to work at my career, i find getting sucked at every day life. I wish i could just work harder, not listen to my body’s desires to take a rest when ill needed.

Sometimes it’s the PMS that keeps me unmotivated for a whole week, i feel i should take a drug to ease it.

I want to lose weight, i cannot keep off meat nor dairy’s. I don’t even understand nutritionists, They say different things, different days. They tell us meat is important, avoid meat.

I want to be closer to God for bringing thus far, I have slackened off. I think this is part of being human.

So I’ve come to realize that, I don’t think I have very much motivation for the things that I want to do on my list, which is absolutely ridiculous because these are all things that I really really want to do. You would think that accomplishing these goals would be easy because I want them so bad, but no, its really really hard.
I want to work every morning to get in shape, yet i love sleeping in, and then nothing everything is going to happen.
The eating healthier goal, well since I came home from school, I’ve been eating alot worse, but its hard because my mom has like all this junk food that my brothers eat because, they like it, and idk its just something to eat, and I’m too lazy to actually make anything.
Money is also an issue. I simply do not have enough money to be able to do the things I want to do, my camera isn’t all that great so I don’t take pictures, the guitar thing, I don’t have the money right now to spend on, so there goes that idea. And GAS!!!! ahhhh like 4 dollars, there goes the idea of random road trips, also with that there is the issue of my parents being super srict and not letting my go anywhere on my own. I think that is ridiculous, because I’m a smart girl, I’m not going to make stupid decisions, and if I am out doing my own thing, getting up going to classes, and going to work everyday, and I’m 19 i think that I should be able to go out and do my own thing, but no I always have to ask permission, and then sometimes they get mad. But I’m always with them.
Anyway with all these so called bummers… I’m not getting anywhere close to accomplishing these things on my list. I need motivation to get up everyday and get in shape, I need motivation to cook something healthy,and I talk to myself all the time, like, lana you really should do this because otherwise you are just wasting time. So how can I find this motivation. I have noooooo idea, the motivation I have I guess isn’t strong enough, so what am I suppose to do??? Any ideas???

Something snapped in the last few months and I seem to have lost almost all of my motivation, particularly for school. I’m pretty sure I know some of what brought it on. Some recent events in my life are enough to make anyone want to check out entirely, and I’m pretty sure that was the nail in the coffin for my motivation. I had lost steam without anything bad happening, then this crap happened and it got worse. I can’t seem to regain focus and find my motivation again… but I have to… I have to get through this quarter. Then I can afford to check out for a little bit with summer break.. just go to work and chill otherwise. I don’t know, I don’t know what I need. It’s like everything that’s happened has squashed my motivation because regardless of what I accomplish, it doesn’t make up for the other garbage and I still feel like crap at the end of the day. I’m driving myself nuts living like this. I’ve gotta find a way to find motivation again.

turns out i just needed to quit drinking. now my ass is officially in gear.

And it was interesting.
Now I can watch figure-skating.

The Ten of Wands in this position requires you to re-evaluate your motivation for continuing to do what you have been doing, because your previous motivations have been exhausted.
I know, I know…