change direction in life

i want to change my life for the better

I’ve had a great time since i arrived in argentina but my thoughts have gone back to what the hell i’m gonna do with my life. I thought I was flexible and i’d quite like to stay here for a while but then the little things start to annoy me. Maybe its just a phrase, I don’t know. I start to miss things about home, most of all the people and how I can understand the way they are pretty well. I can’t live there but when i’m away I miss it, its weird.

So I don’t really know what direction I want to go in. I would like to just go with the flow but then I get anxious about the future.

I did it, I came to Argentina. I like ithere but it has not been an easy thing to do. I am frustrated at not being able to speak the language and at not knowing anyone just yet. But I just have to be patient.

I hope i’m doing the right thing. I have a really bad case of last minute nerves – i’m worrying about stupid things like whether i’ll be able to get my hair cut and if my skin is gonna flare up because of the humidity.

I need to get off this computer and actually do something to take my mind off it….

I’m getting more excited and less scared each day. And I was very scared…i’ve researched every little detail about the place. I’ve made contact with people on the internet, both other travellers and Argentines. Maybe that’s what has made it less scary, i’ve got a couple of phone numbers of people I could call if I really got into trouble….

I would recomment the website www.mylanguageexchange.com to anyone learning a language (thanks to gezzieg who recommended it to me) its great!

I am so scared about going there alone….I know i’m gonna be unhappy wherever I am at the moment because i’m having to get used to being single again. Maybe its too big a step, I don’t know. I feel like a child who is learning to do everything for herself again from scratch.

But the alternative isn’t so great either – living at home with my parents. I left my job, gave away most of my stuff and we sold our flat so I really have nothing left here and staying when I was all set to leave is just so unappealing.

Hopefully i’ll write another entry here in 2 weeks time saying it all worked out fine and i’m having a great time meeting loads of people and i’m managing to forget about my ex boyfriend.

I’ve just booked a ticket to Argentina! This is the first step in the new direction.

God I am scared at the prospect but so excited at the same time. My parents are freaking out and saying what if you get lonely etc. But I think the risk is worth it and I know I will meet new people there. I have travelled alone before and I remember being scared the week before I left. When I got there I was fine and the experience was amazing.

I just hope its not gonna be weird as I was supposed to be going to Argentina with my ex boyfriend together for a holiday. But now I am going for a longer period and by going alone i’ll be able to meet so many more people.

My relationship ended along with my hopes and dreams for the life I was looking forward to. So the only way to get over this is to go in a completely different direction. I am changing countries, giving up on the language i’ve been learning for almost 7 years, changing careers, leaving friends and family, the whole lot. I hope it works out and someday i’ll be glad the break up happened.