lovewestny is cultivating an ascetic aesthetic.
I think being a human is a shit deal. I meet all the criteria for being completely fucked-up (i.e. rigid and inflexible to outrageous lengths, inability to trust, angry and hostile, cynical and bitter, etc.) and therefore have little patience for it. I went out with my hockey pal last night and was really upset about how life is going lately. Yesterday would have been my grandmother’s 91st birthday, my grandfather died two years ago last week, and I’m fucking sick and tired of them being dead. Completely irrational, I know. But I started crying on our way to the hockey game, and she said she was glad I felt comfortable enough to share. I was disgusted and annoyed that I had slipped; I prefer to appear strong to my friends. When people cry in front of me, I get uncomfortable.
Anyway, the jury is still out on the Higher Power thing; I mainly think it’s a crutch for the weak. I’ve seen little to no evidence that organized religion is in any way productive, personally or socially. I have nearly completely lost faith in humanity. (I don’t want to hear any shit about how great Obama’s election is. The anti-gay propositions that passed in several states show that it’s still acceptable to be prejudiced, as long as it’s against homos.)
So, needless to say, understanding the human condition may take a while.
