meditate for thirty minutes

oh. my. goodness. i was sitting in the park, under this pagoda by a koi pond, and i was meditating. i was really deep into my meditation… my mind was blank and clear and i felt as if i could sit there for hours. i thought to myself, “im actually going to meditate for a half hour, just like ive been wanting to for over a year. that’d be ridiculous if i opened my eyes right before, so i should wait.” i had a pretty relaxing, amazing experience and just thought about random little things in life. i then decided, “okay, i believe i’ve finally passed a half an hour. it’s probably been fourty or fourty-five minutes.” opened my eyes. twenty-nine. zen is hard stuff.

i think to myself constantly.

I was imagining I was a fish in a stream. No way to guess how long I did it for, because I fell asleep after a few minutes.

because I’ve been having nightmares, and there has been alot of turbulance in my life recenty, so I had the urge to clear my mind. Very helpfull.

so ive been having pretty bad insomnia. last night i went to sleep at 10:30 and woke up at 12:30, and was pretty disheartened. i was awake for two hours, and thought to myself, “how about i just meditate?” so i played shakuhachi for a minute, and then meditated for five. within ten minutes i was asleep. :-) maybe i should do that again tonight. my mental clutter scale is off the charts right now

okay so when i wrote that a while ago i ended up meditating for seven minutes. but the night is young, so as of now i’m decided i’m going to try again. this time i’d be cool to get above 15 minutes.

this is bad but I find it easier to meditate when i’ve had a few beers. my head goes blank and it’s a total sinch to focus on my breathing. trouble is, i tend to fall asleep after a few minutes.

enough waiting. im gonna do this now.

I tend to meditate for about five or ten minutes, and I want to reach a full 30 minute meditation (and eventually an hour!)