never bash men in general for something one of them does to annoy/hurt me

and think there’s something very helpful about reminding myself of it – and making an effort at it. I have had a fair number of lousy experiences with specific men, starting with my dad, of course, and I know for a fact that on some level I’m pretty mistrusting of men in general as a result, and even if I don’t really do too much bashing, in little ways, and privately in my thoughts, I do do this.

So, maybe I’ll take this goal on for a little while and see if I can be more conscious about changing my thoughts and not blaming the whole group of men or stereotyping them. I know there are wonderful men – I know a couple of examples right here in this community, and my brother is quite wonderful. So I’ll try to stop thinking of them as the exceptions and start seeing men as made up of good and bad just like women are.

I wonder what the best way is to change thoughts – is it just observing the negative (bashing) thoughts and noticing them and saying, let me revise that thought, every time you have it??

Hm.

Any thoughts on this matter would be much valued.

lately i’ve been thinking things like “ugh, why do men feel so threatened by women with brains and ambition?” “why do they always need convenience?” this is bashing. this is making generalizations.

i think the frustration point is the time you can make the decision to understand or build a wall. i’m going to try to understand.

women make sweeping generalizations about men when they’re hurt in order to make themselves feel better, and men do the same. not only does it keep you from truly healing or growing, but it keeps us all from understanding each other better. it’s the last cultural frontier.

that I don’t really do this… I do make generalizations, but not really about men, except as a joke once in a while. So I think I’m okay with this goal. :)

I’m always making this sweeping, hateful generalizations without even thinking about it… hopefully now that it’s come to my attention I can do something about it. :)