graduate from highschool

i have to stop myself once a week from quitting, i hate it, and now i have to try my hardest to pass this year ):

I’ve only gotten five credits in a year and a half. It’s gotten me that much closer to graduation. And in the fall I’ll be going to school part time at St. Louis! That way in less than two years High School will be a thing of the past!

i love scohl but sometimes i hate my school i go to milennium middle school

1 more week until prom! then camping with my grad class, I’m back at school for one day to get my yearbook, and then 3 exams! Then finally, after 4 long years I finally get my chance to cross that stage, in that hideous cap/gown, and get my diploma! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

It seems like forever ago, the first time I considered quitting highschool altogether and getting my G.E.D. It was a hard time for me, as I struggled with my family, angrily threatening to get my G.E.D. Many things had led me to this resentment, mainly the bad treatment I had always received from teachers, and especially students. I’ve never been popular with anyone, being an overweight girl who plays video games, and hangs out with boys all of the time rather than spending my free time painting my nails and gossiping about who is dating who. Being very free spirited and independent, believing intensely about my own decisions, and wishing of only to do what I want to, I was constantly on edge, as teachers called out orders to students, and prevented many from doing reasonable things like going to the bathroom, or going to their locker for forgetting something. I stuck up for myself many times, and these actions got me in trouble. The pressure of being disliked, even hated, by other students and teachers was starting to break me down. Being extremely A.D.D. kept me from having exceptional grades. Teachers were unwilling to work with me to help me out in things I didn’t understand, plus I was always too embarrased to ask. I suffered, with my nose stuck in my sketches and doodles, and my mind stuck in a dream world and I got further and further behind in my work. Moving to Indiana, and back to Alabama, to Arkansas didn’t help much either. I was constantly being screwed, anally, by the school boards, due to different state requierments and what have you. I had passed the graduation exam in THREE different states, yet I was many, many credits behind. When I failed the 12th grade for the first time, I wasn’t shocked. I decided to homeschool, but then I moved to Arkansas. Nothing I had accomplished in homeschooling had transferred. More hope lost. I was ready to quit. But I didn’t. Something was stopping me from going on any further. In Arkansas, I went to the most redneck school in existence. I was surrounded by people who judged me by my color, my introverted personality, being threatened by others for merely bumping into them in the busy hallway, having things thrown at me. It was a scary school. My stress level has never been so high, and I constantly cried as my mom on the way home from school. After a while, I learned that the school bus stops right in front of our apartment. I decide to start taking it. It was relaxing, really. I would listen to my music constantly, and nap, or do last minute studying and homework. This stopped when a group of younger girls took interest in me. They constantly asked me questions like, Why I was wearing what I was. Why my hair color was pink. Their posse leader would tell me how ugly it was, and it made me feel horrible. I would tell them off on occasion, but their favorite way to counter my attacks were by laughing it off. I quit taking the bus. In fact, I quit going to school, slowly. Not waking up, oversleeping, acting sick. I made myself sick. As I fell into this depression, I began falling further, and further behind. I was ready to get my G.E.D. That was till I learned of an option. Internet classes. This went well for a while, but of course, I began to lose interest. The math was intimidating. Being a hands on learner, I gave up. Then I tried to go back to school, when I was given the opportunity to go to an art and science magnet school. I was so excited, and went for about 2-3 weeks. I wasn’t picked on here, I even made a friend or two. I was beginning to feel confident. But then I learned that this new school district required more than I imagined. I cried. I would be graduating at nearly 21 at that pace. It was all over. But that little itching feeling in my chest kept telling me that there was an option. It wasn’t like getting my diploma was the only option to success. I believed that anyone can succeed with a G.E.D. But the fact that I had come this far from accomplish something that I thought I wouldn’t be able to accomplish years ago kept me going. That’s when I worked hard to apply to a credit recovery academy. Kids my age, even older, with their own stories of why they couldn’t excel in public school would be dilligently working quietly on their own to finish something they started a long long time ago. Students at the academy hadn’t applied be insulting the teachers, making fun of others, and obnoxiously disturbing class. They applied to do nothing but work hard to graduate. The maturity of my peers surprised me, and finally I felt smart and special. I went from being 8 credits behind, to being 2 credits closer to doing something I thought I couldn’t. I finally tasted the power of being able to beat this level of my life. I’m so proud of myself for not quitting. If you are 19 like me, or even older, I know you can graduate yourself. If you are thinking about getting your G.E.D., please listen to me when I say this: You can do it! If I can, you can! :)

Getting pregnant when you’re 16 forces you to drop out in a way. Only have 15 credits out of 30, it’s hard to stay motivated when you’re slowly trying to accomplish that one thing; life. If I could graduate highschool, I could go to college and get a job to support my daughter. Because I’m working on this goal through ILC, I know I can accomplish it.

I recently took two assessment tests – one was math and the other was English – and it looks like I’m ready for university-level studies! I know it’s not a diploma, but between receiving these test results, and remembering that I did get my GED all those years ago… well, I’m emotionally ready to call this “Done”.

Seton Home Study still interests me, but it costs about $750 per year to study with them. For a homestudy program this is probably quite reasonable; but I am on disability, and since I’d probably have to begin around the grade 9 level, that’s $3000 that I don’t have!

I have sent off an inquiry to the Vancouver Learning Network (formerly known as Greater Vancouver Distance Education School). The courses seem to be free to B.C. residents who have not yet graduated. That would help alot! I may have to go see a counselor there… I’ll keep you posted.

In my last entry, I mentioned that I had taken an assessment test through Athabasca University. This was an online test, it only covered English, and it only took me about an hour.

I’ve decided to take Seton Home Study School’s assessment test. It is supposed to be more thorough, and I’m curious about my current grade-levels in all of the major subjects.

I’m still keen to accomplish this goal. I’d especially like to catch up on my maths and sciences.

because I did an assessment test through Athabasca University, and it turns out I’m ready for college-level studies. Hmmm…