1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he is in nappies.2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Shut the door.3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there.4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone.5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.6. Men are all the same – they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.8. Women don’t make fools of men – most of them are the do-it-yourself type.9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.13. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him cheque books.14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
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Ever wondered what would have happened if it had been three wise women instead of three wise men in the Christmas story?
Women would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts!
My daughter told us this little gem she heard on the radio this morning while we were all sipping a cup of coffee:
It was sent in by a teacher when the station asked for funny stories about Christmas time. While rehearsing a nativity play with her group of pre-schoolers, she noticed that the little boy who was playing Joseph looked pretty fed-up. When she asked him what the matter was, he wailed ‘I’m tiiired…...’, upon which four-year old Maria promptly replied with ‘you’re tired??? I’m the one who’s pregnant!!’
‘I once broke my hand by stumbling while out walking for my health. I know two people, actually three, who have died while “running for their health”; two heart attacks and one traffic fatality. If people would stay in bars drinking and smoking, like nature intended, there would be fewer accidents of this kind. We should all learn from our own mistakes!’
Carolyn and Joel Senter (sherlock sherlock-holmes.com)
The reason for my sad smile is that I also knew a wonderful woman who died of a heart attack while jogging on the beach, while she and her family were holidaying in Mocambique. She was only in her thirties, and left behind two young sons.
My daughter, whom I’ve been living with in London, ’s partner WT’s mother IT, arrived this morning from SA for a two-week visit over the festive days. While unpacking some of the gifts she brought along, which included biltong (jerky) and droewors (dried sausage), one packet felt colder and somehow wetter than the rest. Thinking that it must still be frozen, she looked down, only to realise that she was holding a real live frog in her hand! I was watching from two feet away, and saw something wriggling to get free and was almost deafened by her subsequent loud scream when she realised what she was holding! We’re all a bit apprehensive about handling amphibians, so the little travelling frog is still in her room, safely hiding under the bed until one of us can pluck up the courage to catch it. This frog flew all the way from Tzaneen, South Africa to London in the UK, and it’s just lucky (unlucky for the froggie) that her bags weren’t searched at the airport(s). We feel so, so sorry for the little creature. IT wants to take it back to SA with her, but I think she might be pushing her luck then, and what do we do with our uninvited guest until she flies back? We have a problem here! Whichever way, we all had a good laugh!
