catching up on grading

I’m not finished, but I think I can say I feel “caught up” since I’m done with the undergrads and the grad papers are only starting to trickle in.

Besides, this has been weighing me down enough without it being on my list too long also.

AAAAAUUUUUUGHGHHHHH!

After that I can start thinking about the grad papers. Oog.

Oh wait, one of my goals for this week was to quit whining. Oops.

I set myself a deadline and then went past it. So much for getting those papers done today. I went to sleep last night instead.

On the bright side, the pile is slimming. I don’t feel that they are overwhelming anymore.

It’s getting done tonight. Let’s see, after that: I make up the final. Tomorrow I run a three-hour review and give the final to two students, preferably a different one. I set up a makeup quiz for two more students. I’m really hoping that I’m not meeting any grad students after I give the early final, but just now I am thinking of one, no two, oh dear.

Monday some more grad students and another three-hour review session. These undergrads are so demanding! If I can possibly do it I’m planning on baking them cookies. Why? I have it on my goal list, I’d like to bake cookies but I don’t particularly want to eat them myself. Oh those lucky tykes.

I did get the quizzes done last night, but not the essays, what a shock. And at a certain point I had to lay off grading and prepare the lecture. On no sleep I was a little punchy but surprisingly articulate. In fact, my brain was a little “loose” and I made some amazing connections . . . or at least that is what I remember . . .

I’m determined to get all the undergrad essays and quizzes done tonight and have resolved just to make a night of it, i.e. staying up all night, getting really punchy, drinking lots of various kinds of beverages and then deal with tomorrow in a compromised state. I can probably get through the two lectures, meeting with the two grad students, giving out two makeup quizzes and my eye appointment. I’ll look really funny when they dilate my eyes. Also, I’ll have to prep for Friday’s review session and make up the final since two students will be taking it on Friday. But after that I can go to sleep, i.e. Friday night. I’ll take double or triple my usual number of muscle relaxants and oversleep.

Are done. I had such a hard time with them because I felt I couldn’t judge them too harshly because so much of the time in that class I didn’t feel like I knew what I was doing and therefore wasn’t clear in my expectations. Oh, I want to teach that class again (!!) because the next time it will be so much better.

Piles and piles of undergrad essays left. And quizzes.

I know why it is so slow also. Everytime I read mediocre work I blame myself for not having been clearer about various things. Particularly for this one class I feel that it was really the blind leading the blinder-but really how could it have been anything else, since I didn’t know anything about this topic when I took this course on? Plus there was so much I didn’t know about the students, and the whole culture of the institution. If I were to teach this course again it would be so much better, but unfortunately it’s just too late now. :(.

I also feel like I’m getting lazy/sloppy about the survey. I’m just tired out and want it to be over. At least I have a clean slate in the spring, and I’m not teaching anything I know nothing about.

But that’s really why it has been so slow. It’s not simply that I’m a procrastinator; it’s that grading makes me confront all the powerful feelings of inadequacy I’ve been dragging around this term. If only it didn’t always revolve around me it would be better for me and better for the students.

1. get through the lectures this morning
2. hand back the grad midterms
3. spend the rest of the day grading undergrad papers
4. put together undergrad grades so far

Three more of my grad midterms, which I really had a block about. I think that I have figured out the spread, though: 4 As, 3 Bs, 3 Cs and 3 unknown so far. That seems about right-not too hard, not too easy. Content in a lot of them was ok, but organization wasn’t great generally, even among the better ones. Undercitation also a big problem. It’s a little discouraging having to teach these things to grad students but there you go.

About half of the students speak English as a second or third language which meant there were a lot of usage issues to correct. The results of the non-native speakers were pretty varied, though; some write really well, with the occasional confusion over prepositions and/or definite/indefinite articles but that is to be expected. A couple of them I could barely understand at all. It was hard to tell with those if their command of the language determined that or if they were just poor writers, or perhaps both. They all should be having someone check their papers over before they turn them in.

I should have these done before the end of the business day today. Then I have to tackle the many more undergrad essays I have piled up. I’m promising myself that I won’t take nearly as much time with them because it is a much smaller part of their grade. Yeah, right :).

I’m still trying to determine the source of the block for the grad midterms. At first I thought it was the fear of reading mediocre and bad work because it would reflect poorly on me. That was a big part of it. But a big part of it also is the desire to be liked and that getting in the way of me wanting to be honest, which generally wins out. I probably am grading a little easier than I should, but I’m conscious as I read them how much they don’t know and how much they should be encouraged for what they do get right. I wish I didn’t have to write comments.

I’m trying to think of how good it will feel to get this pile done. It will mean that after I’m done with class tomorrow I’ll feel a little freer. Of course, I’ll still have that fellowship appliction and a dress rehearsal to finish off tomorrow night, and meeting with three students Friday plus a concert. But it really will seem a little easier, I think.