I have always had difficulty being alone. Whenever I have a full time girlfriend I always make the mistake of spending every waking moment with them and spending little to no time with family and friends. This has been the demise of many a relationship with the girl and friends. I have once again become single and the past year had been really difficult. I don’t like to be alone so I do things that I enjoy like going to the gym. I don’t necessarily talk to people but I am not alone. I spend Saturdays at home alone doing homework and have found that I am becoming more comfortable with my time alone. I spend time with various girl and guy friends and have diversified my schedule and yet remain busy and independent. I am enjoying life after once again losing a love. The key thing is I have gained love, I focus on my wants and needs and am loving myself. I think that I had been lacking self worth which may have caused my codependence in previous relationships. Finding myself and focusing on short and long term goals have been critical in my happiness. Hope my story can help someone else.
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I am a 54 year old single mother of two grown children. I have been disabled for 15 years and as I get older it seems my “ailments” get worse. Yes, I have depression.
It’s very hard for me to join single groups as they are always doing activities that cost money. I have a very fixed, limited income and cannot spend a nickel for extra caricular activites.
As we approach winter I cringe. With each gloomy day and deep
snow I really get more scared.
I don’t know why I fear being alone. Maybe it’s because I fear the depression. If my mind is stimulated by others talking etc., I’m ok. However, if I have no other stimulation from the outside world I’m a mess and I hate it. Why can’t I be alone and be happy with it?
I can’t stand being alone. I just got out of a relationship with a wonderful person because his job sent him elsewhere. We spent 24/7 together and we did everything together. We loved the same things like gaming and movies, but now he’s gone. I cried so hard two days before he left because I knew what was coming. It’s only the second day that he’s been gone and I still can’t stop crying. I know it will take a while to get over what an amazing relationship we had, but it still hurts. I don’t know how to be comfortable being alone. It’s even hard for me to sleep now because I slept by his side for so long. I hate being alone and now that he’s gone all I want to do is cry all the time. I don’t have many close friends and it’s harder for me when they are busy and I’m left by myself. I try to keep myself occupied with others things so I don’t think about him, but 80% of the things I try to occupy myself with remind me of him!! I just want to enjoy what I had and enjoy the memories. I don’t want to be sad, but I don’t know how to enjoy those things and be happy with being by myself. I need help being able to learn this so that the next time I’m in a very close relationship and it ends, I don’t feel like the life has been completely sucked out of me. There has to be someway to deal with this loneliness and live my life happily, whether I’m alone or with someone.
I don’t understand myself. Even when I’m surrounded by people I love..I feel alone. Every time I’m in a relationship..I become so absorbed with that person.
I’m dating a guy I met at college and we spend almost everyday together and when I’m with him I’m great. This week we’re on Spring break. The whole week prior to spring break I literally cried about not being able to see him for a week. Now that we’re apart..unless hes instant messaging me, or texting me, I feel completely alone, even surrounded by my favorite family. Even those these people have made changes in their life I dont necessarily agree with I shouldnt feel this alone around them to the point that I feel like crying.
Lately I’ve been wanting to stay busy, be sure to have plans, spend time with others, and for the first time in a long time, all I wanted to do this weekend was be alone! And I love it!
I absolutely must learn to be comfortable alone. I’ve been alone on and off my whole life anyway and I’m not fond of actual relationships. Friendships are fun, but I only have a very few, and when they are busy I get terribly, horribly lonely. Rationally I know that being alone is not the end of the world, but it feels like it emotionally, and I start thinking the whole world has forgotten me and doesn’t care. It’s upsetting, because the rest of me really wants to be solitary! I love being out in nature, it’ll most likely be part of my career, and a lot of those jobs require solitary time to do work. I don’t even like cities. I will probably live somewhere that’s not very populated. Plus, being uncomfortable with being alone has led me to be dependent on partners and has gotten me into really bad, abusive relationships where I totally give myself up. I cannot even date again until I learn who I am and become comfortable with myself!
The worst part about the loneliness is the deep dark pit I get in my stomach, it makes me want to cry. I feel like I can learn to be comfortable with being alone eventually though.
I really like being single… it’s so much to do and I am always very busy… but I guess it’s not what is considered normal? ;)
I am addicted to being in a relationship. When I’m in one, I’m so wrapped up in it that I focus only on him. Then, when things don’t work out I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I recently got out of a relationship that I thought would be it for me… only to realize after its over that I wasn’t being myself. I was being what I thought he wanted me to be.
So now I must be alone to regain this sense of self, and hopefully learn to maintain it and bring it into a healthier relationship, when ready.
