I’m a native russian speaker.
I know it perfectly, I read a lot and watch TV, and it’s all shiny and great until it comes to speaking.
I speak mostly with my family, and, considering my problems with connecting with them it turns out I speak very little.
I think I have some trauma with speaking Russian because I imagine (or feel) that when I speak in it, I can’t express myself at all and sound really stupid and people do not understand me. My brother claims my voice gets higher when I talk in Russian (And damn, it’s high enough already! People who call me on the phone often think I’m 5).
I have trouble with my accent and when I speak Russian I usually just forget words and speak too fast so the words I’m already saying get blurred and disgusting.
As it goes, I started to hate speaking russian and avoid it as much as I can.
Which brings me to the decision to start doing something about it, coz I need this. Not only I have a lot of people around me that I’m (kind of) speaking russian with, but it’s also useful and is an advantage at getting a job.
Steps in doing this – I heard somewhere that reading out loud slowly and then fast, improves the accent. Maybe I should also try to use it much, at least talk to my family more.
And about the expressive thing – I already read a lot, maybe I need to watch some movies and “feel” the language. I’ll also try to think in it more.
Wow that was long.
