practice honesty

I have been open and honest with the two people who tug at my heartstrings. One I have to encourage to hang on, the other to let go. It’s not very fun – but I am working on working on it.

Also – been opening up to some close friends a bit more – which has lifted the pressure off my shoulders a bit. Feels good to let it out. Miss Jenne today. She inspires me.

Today I said somet higns that I had needed to get off my heart (again) and although I am not saying anythign new – repeating myself to this one particular person is helping to reinforce some of the values that i want to work on and improve. Thus being honest – even to the point of repition, I am truely becoming the woman I know I am and the human being I want to be.

I know we need to talk about this – but it is such a sore spot on my heart that I am not sure where the conversation can go. I should just ask this person to coffee and sort it out. Maybe Andrew was right and him and I could live together. Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Or heather. Or just move home. Oh, how awful would that be. Way awful. Who knows. Must find resolution before Holidays.

Yesterday was filled with angry and frustration between me and significant other. Mostly because honesty is difficult when what you want to hear is no longer what is true. And what is true may be something unattainable. Who writes the rules in life? Who guides our hearts in the direction they are meant to go? Where is this being – I would like to have a talk with them….

I have been working on the “open & honest” policy at my house with said significant other and well – does it even matter? This individual still thinks I am sneaky & dishonest – so I am starting to wonder what the point is. At what point does someone either need to forgive and move on from past expereinces or be done completely and let go of a relationship? What a fuzzy line. And I hate fuzz.

Was able to open up very honestly with someone in regards to my feelings and emotions. Had to work to set boundaries and even though it is hard to seperate what I want from what I need – I know it is worth it in the end. I am adding good, honest relationships to my life – and I do not think I can go wrong with that.

Enough said.

This is an ongoing goal, you could say, a life goal. So this year I want to up the ante and include telling my people about things that bother me. I put off saying stuff sometimes because I don’t want to deal with the drama but I need to be honest so that my relationships can live up to their full potential.