Say "I Love You" and mean it

people just throw it around like it doesn’t mean anything.
like the words don’t make or break anything.
They do.
People seem proud when they’ve been dating for two weeks and rave on about how in love they are.
They might be, but they’re probably not.
Especially at my age.
Everything takes time..
But when you know, you know i guess.

Within the next week or two…

I’ve always meant it without ever saying it. I consider it an act of honesty.

........and he said it right back.

this is like a really huge deal. which i realise now.

last night we were walking by the river. we stopped to kiss for a long long time but we didn’t say anything. we kept walking and we were still silent. i said to him “are we just going to walk and kiss in silence?” and he said i dunno. and i just said “ok well we can stand in silence if you want to”. so he goes well you know thw way i hate saying meaningful stuff in texts….well… um (i was kissing him all the while)...well hows this…o god…wait i need to concentrate…” i just said “um don’t say anything you don’t mean or feel like” and continued to kiss him. he whispered in my ear, “i think i’m falling in love with you”
i said that i was too. like it was amazig but i was kinda supprised or i dunno why he didn’t just say “i love you”. like he’s liked me for 2 and a half years and now we’re going out and he has me so….

It’s worth it. Love is.. amazing. <3

1 1/2 year with g/f at the park. :)!

My first job was something that I will never forget. I worked at a ghetto movie theater in town that is kinda like a dollar movie theater and people that I know refuse to go to because you will lose your flip-flops because the floor is so sticky. Anyways the people working there were great and I learned a lot from them. One person in particular who I can’t seem to remember his name right now was the projectionist(i think it was like dave or something normal). What the projectionist does is basically sit upstairs and start the movies on time all day and because there were only 6 movies running at a time you would work for 5 minutes than sit for 20 work for 5 minutes sit for 20 and sometimes there would be hour+ gaps to sit there and do nothing. Dave was very quiet and not necessarily the smartest guy although he was very wise. He was only in his early 20’s but he had more wisdom than most anyone I’ve met. His wife also worked at the movie theater and was the general manager and she was awesome. We talked quite often because I was getting trained as a projectionist because he left to join the CIA (different story different time). Anyways we talked about different things including religion and his studies because he was doing study on Buddhism and his view on religion and he was also teaching himself Japanese and calculus. Anyways one time we were talking about something and he told me that he had only said I love you four times to his wife. This kind of surprised me because of how his wife was very outgoing and I figured she would say it all the time and he would probably feel like an ass if he didn’t say it back. Anyways he told me that the phrase can mean so much more if you say it as something special instead of as a greeting or goodbye. So many times people hang up and say I love you before they hang up but it doesn’t really mean anything unless you don’t say it then they get upset. I want to do this. Maybe more than four but every time I say it I want it to be a special occasion or something of importance.

I’ve never said it to a boy (in the romantic sense). And when I do say it, I want to mean it whole-heartedly.

With this goal, I’m not saying that I’m ready now to say it, because I’m not quite there yet with the boy, but at some point, I want to say that I was in love.