find God

i have an altar in my room. i read daily meditations from two books almost each morning. i pray as though i believe in god. i think about meditating every day. i meditate almost once a month. i read the schedule for the yoga studio by my house. i’ve never been to the yoga studio by my house.

i write letters to god like i believe in god. sometimes they make me feel better. i talk to god and i act like i think i know how to listen. overall, i have not had a spiritual experience that would lead to me a strong faith in God. i believe in God, but i do not have faith in God’s power. i do not believe that God would serve me. i have doubt.

i want, more than anything, to be free of this doubt. i want the experience that would remove this doubt. i want a connection with God that would wipe away the shadow of loneliness that’s followed me my entire life.

Would you please take me away
from this place
I cannot bear to see
the look upon your faces
And if there
is some kind of god
do you think he’s pleased
When he looks down on us
I wonder what he sees
Do you think
he’d think the things we do
are a waste of time
Maybe he’d think
we are getting on just fine
Do you think he’s skint
or financially secure
And come election time
I wonder who he’d vote for

Ever since he can remember people
have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He’s lost the will he can’t decide
He doesn’t know who’s right or wrong
But there’s one thing that he’s sure
of this has been going on too long

Do you think he’d drive
in his car without insurance
Now is he interesting
or do you think he’d bore us
Do you think
his favourite type of human
is caucasian
Do you reckon
he’s ever been done
for tax evasion
Do you think he’s any good
at remembering people’s names
Do you think he’s ever taken
smack or cocaine
I don’t imagine
he’s ever been suicidal
His favourite band
is Creedence Clearwater Revival

Ever since he can remember people
have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He’s lost the will he can’t decide
He doesn’t know who’s right or wrong
But there’s one thing that he’s sure
of this has been going on too long

Ever since he can remember people
have died in his good name
Long before that September
Long before hijacking planes
He’s lost the will he can’t decide
He doesn’t know who’s right or wrong
But there’s one thing that he’s sure
of this has been going on too long

- Him (Lily Allen)

that there is a MASSIVE difference between God and religion.

I’m seeking one, but not the other.

Have really straightened up my life in a gazillion different ways, but still haven’t truly placed beliefs in my life like I know I should. Doing this will definitely put my life into a perspective that I can respect, pour my self into. Outlook and responsibilities will be stronger I know. Life as I see it now is great, but I’m looking for fantastic. (Spoiled and unrealistic?) Until then…

God is the ideal that man can never achieve. Just like a computer program that can define infinite recursive functions. No computer in the world can compute that even if the concept can be simple to understand. Man can understand God as an omnipresent and omnipotent figure but can never achieve that. Human being has the dream to achieve immortal status (infinite life span or infinite time) but this is not possible. Just as there are no computer that can calculate the infinite number, no human can find God.

I started just talking to God and feel some relief but havent truly found myself or God yet. Still keeping this as a goal though so maybe one day…..

is that I really think that God is another word for serenity.

It’s not necessarily that serenity from prayer, attending Mass or services… not clinging to stories of faith and redemption, not enveloping yourself in fear, guilt or shame and repressing it so that you come out of it a “stronger” person.

It’s that peaceful feeling you get on a day when it rains and you see a resultant rainbow.

It’s a bear hug from someone you love.

It’s breathing in the air at an Irish shoreline.

It’s thinking of someone else instead of yourself.

It’s a Sunday afternoon spent reading and listening to Dead Can Dance.

It’s driving for two hours alone on a stretch of highway, blasting a mix CD and singing along.

It’s watching a thunderstorm from 45 miles away in a deck in Colorado at 10 o’clock at night.

It’s making someone laugh so hard, their voice goes up an octave.

It’s making someone so happy, they tear up.

It’s watching snow or leaves fall.

It’s hearing yourself breathe as you watch a sunset.

It’s not elusive or painful or impossible.

It’s there in so many ways… just like the notion of God, however one defines it, him, or her.

after my mom died in october, i lost touch with my spirtuality. i was really upset that he took my mom at such a young age, and i’m still at a loss to why he did it. i just want to find God in my life again and find my faith, because i know that it is something that should always be there for me.

I have always believed in God and in Jesus. I believe in the teachings of Jesus and have decided to live my life accordingly (to the best of my ability). However, being from a catholic family it has always seemed necessary to me that once one “finds God” they find a faith, a group, a system that they fit into to. After a long time of fighting with what I believe and what that particular Church teaches, I came to realise that I do not belong. I am not a Catholic, I am not a Muslim, I am not a Jehovas Witness. I am me and I have my own faith. This came about as I pondered the following things (please bear with me).

God, our Creator, our higher being, and Jesus, the all-loving, sacrifical lamb who died for the WORLDS sins, are claimed to decide on “Judgement Day” who goes to heaven and who goes to Hell? Jesus, who healed lepers, Jesus who had unconditional love regardless of race or health, is going to “judge” us? I can’t say I believe this. I believe Jesus took on the sins of the WORLD when he died on the cross, not just the sins of the Catholics etc. Would Jesus truly discriminate upon those who chose a different path? Would those who chose say zen buddhism be sent to eternal damnation because they didn’t choose the “right” way? I think not.When you have unconditional love for someone, you love them regardless of religion, regardless of sexual preference or race.

Also, it is a commonly accepted belief that God himself carved out mankind. If God made people, he made gay people. He made transgendered people. He made people of different colours. He did not do this for his own comic benefit. If God created gay and transgendered people (it is my belief that some people are born gay, and some are born believing they are in the “wrong” body) he did not rule them out of heaven. I do not believe that God only loves those who are in same raced marriages with legitimate children who are regular mass attendees. God loves people. ALL people. To consider that God is prejuidice is ludicrous.

Organized religions use fear as a way of administering control over a people. Some religions use Jesus and God ase a scapegoat for their own shameful prejuidices against the people of the world. A religion who claims homosexuals, transgendered people and people of colour are going to hell is simply and plainly stupid.

I hope that when deciding upon where to find God you think carefully.

I think I found god in a way. I started talking to god a while back. I don’t say amen, or get on my knees when i pray to him. I talk to him throughout the day, maybe when I’m on my way to school, or in the shower, or before I fall asleep. I don’t know if anyone is really listening or anything and I’m not a religious guy. (havent been to church in i don’t know how long). But i found what I needed out of god. Its medicinal to just talk aloud. Ask for things that you really care about and give thanks to what you have. I have lots of questions for god and voice them out loud quite often. My friend just passed away the other day and I find comfort thinking that there could even be a small possibility that he could find his way to a better place with god…
anyways its enough for me to say I’ve completed this goal.