write in my paper journal more often

I really need to do this. My goal is to write on Saturday and Sunday in October for a total of at least five days, just so it’s concrete and I can do it.

Since becoming a mom, I really feel like I have lost touch with myself. I used to feel like I knew where I was going and what I wanted to do in life. Why have I slowed way way down since becoming a mom? There was one year in my teenage years when I wrote every single day! Is it because I don’t have time or energy once the kids are to bed? I think it partly is. I think once they finally actually get to bed, I want to do anything but think or write about my hectic stressful day or about kids. As a stay home mom, my life seems to be consumed with kids.

And yet, it is still important to do. I remember that year that I was writing was great. I knew myself, I made good choices, I could see where the choices I made each day were taking me. I felt at peace with myself.

Maybe I could find a way to write during my "on" time, when the kids are awake.  Maybe it could be a little break for mom.  Hmmmmm. . . the thought has merit.  Then I will be able to remember the little details of the day.  I'm going to try this.

My ‘list 100 things that make me happy’ goal has helped me write in my journal more often. I am thinking about finding a separate mini-journal for this purpose because my list is randomly scattered between actual journal entries.

Crazy hormones have also helped since lately I have always had 200 different thoughts bouncing around at once.

I have REALLY been ontop of writing in my livejournal lately, which I think is the reason I have been slacking with my beloved paper journal. I have been keeping this online journal since early 2001 and I am very much attached to it. It’s amazing to look back and notice how much my thought process has matured. It gives me a sense of accomplishment because I realize that I have come a long, long way growing into myself. In my early high school days, when I began the journal, I was very self centered and negative. Today I am more negative than I would like to be, but it is much better, and I think of others frequently.

On an unrelated note, my baby has had the hiccups and been very active since I started this entry. I think he wants out!

I picked up my paper journal today. I recorded the events of my ultrasound and doctor’s appointment.
Also, in it I began my list of 100 things that make me happy, which is another 43 things goal.

While writing, I realized how much I have missed the act of actually writing in a journal, rather than typing. I don’t think I will be neglecting it for awhile.
My online journal and blog may suffer, but I like my paper journal better anyhow :p

I have kept a paper journal for years and they are my most treasured posessions. It would most likely be the one thing that I would save in the event of a fire.

I go through phases writing in it. Usually I record emotionally charged times. Lately I’ve been really slacking on it, and I’d like to get back into the routine of writing almost daily.

I think I’ve achieved this; I’ve reached a point where when an idea comes into my head that’s worth recording, instead of thinking, “Oh, I should blog about this,” I’m more likely to reach for my journal and write it down. Which means that now I’m neglecting my blog, but that’s okay. :)

Journalling feels like a regular part of my life again, and that’s what I was aiming for, so I hereby consider this done!

I started journalling nearly 12 years ago, shortly after my mother’s death from cancer. I didn’t have a journal then, but I had so many things that I needed to express; I’d write and write and write on loose sheets of binder paper, which I’d tie up with a rubber band and hide under my mattress or in the bookshelves so my family wouldn’t find them. I eventually got a proper book to write in, and journalling became a way for me to process my thoughts and feelings and ideas — writing things down helped me to clarify, to purge, to vent, to relax, to plan, to motivate myself. When I began journalling online, it was out of boredom really, just a novelty. I’ve been doing it for five years now, and over those years I’ve found myself journalling on paper less and less. Online journalling has had its benefits, I think, but I edit and censor myself a lot because I’m aware of having a (tiny) readership. And I’ve found that without the paper journalling outlet, I feel… I don’t know; I don’t feel as clear-headed as I used to. And because I have grown used to filtering certain things out of my writing on my blog, I find myself not thinking about/tackling those things in the head-on, searching way that I used to when I kept a paper journal. I feel very scattered, less certain, less focussed, less honest, less a lot of things.

I needed to start writing in a book again. I really needed to. I’ve started doing it, and it’s been surprisingly difficult. I question myself a lot about whether what I’m thinking is “worth” writing, whether it’s “well written” and stuff like that. I never used to do that before. Keeping a paper journal again will be good for me, but I think it will take me some time to get comfortable with it again.

I’ve had a journal since 91 and I love going back and reading the entries to see how my life has changed and how I’ve grown.

It feels different to have the filled journal-book. It isn’t an instantaneous audience like an online journal or blog, but that is a positive thing… some of my thoughts are too random, too odd, too (fill in the blank) to be stuck out there in raw form. Staying with them and exploring them on paper is definitely the way to go.

In an effort to increase my paper journal activity, I’ve launched “Doodles & Scribbles”, my newest blogging venture. Each day I’ll scan and post something I’ve drawn or written, and because my son is such a little artist, I’ll post his work, too, for inspiration.

Seems almost foreign to pick up a pen and actually commit written words to paper these days. Started a paper journal just a few days ago, actually, and decided on a sexual theme to keep things interesting. So far, one lonely entry, which seems pretty lame now that I’m actually admitting it…