Make 2007 "The year of Me"

2007 while interesting, will not be the year of “ME”. I think the pivotal thing here was the broken fingers waaay back in February that gave me a surgery in March, disrupted my running, my work, and my nice peace of mind.
In realizing this, I think it’s time to just say i give up. 2008 may be better. I hope it is.

I never did an entry for June.
Has not exactly been a good month. But it was what it was.
I defintiely made a good new friend.
I signed a new employment contract, and despite housing issues it has been very good.
I struggled a lot financially, but most of the utterly can not miss payments were made (mortgage, electric, water.)
I read a lot.
Teulu got much better behaved and had a few playdates.
I ran 2 5k’s, one of which with a fairly OK time.
I had a birthday and it was fun.
Well, not too much more really.
July has started out not so well. But I am hoping for better things. I’m getting a litle depressed as each month I seem to end saying…gee things aren’t so good, I hope they get better!
Overall though, It could be worse. I could have an incurable disease, I could lack housing or food…etc etc.

not as good as April.

This is definitely the year of uncomfortable me.

I’m unsure what to do.
I did get the garmin, and it has improved my running….

I’m signed up for some fun races in June.

I had a quasi relationship in May, that went south a few days ago, which is fine, but sort of depressing though sort of a relief. Only so much OCD a gal can handle.

I am considering new employment and need to make a choice about that soon…

changes….seem to be the name of the game. I just know if I sever ties this time, this is it….Not sure I’m ready for that, though it does seem appealing….not sure all the liscence getting will be.

I’ve just been reminded that April is indeed coming to an end.
Whew, what a ride. April was indeed better than March.
I went back to work. I survived the transition into the new Emergency Department.

The copious amount of Bamboo was removed from my property.

I met a few of my neighbours whom I really am looking forward to spending time with this summer (They invited the dog to swim in the pond.!)

I continued to spend time with a new person i met in March and this has been very fun and special and surprising.

I’ve been waaay more social…

returned to the gym post surgery and am doing lots of work there.

I’m still having a lot of frustration over my hand, and not doing too well on some of my goals, but in general, I see an improvement in things and I am hoping May will be even better.
goals for may:
improve my running.
allow myself to get the Garmin.
Make more of an effort to be a better sister.
Perfect attendance at work.
Be a good support to spcial people in my life.
Exersise smarter
eat smarter.

ranks right up there with the worst month of my life. In fact, I’m not sure I can think of an entire month that was worse.
positives

My fingers had pins in and out in March.

i got set up to volunteer in April.

My taxes got done early and with little stress.

There were many many negatives to this month and a lot of things did not happen as I would have liked, but it’s over, and I am hoping April will be a bit better.

Well….

it was a poor month for the year of me. hmmm. i did achieve lots before the fall. but now all i can recall is the fall and my continuing misery….
but by the end of March, i might have a better report….

I’ve been thinking a lot about what this means. Yes, is sounds utterly selfish. And, it is “self-ish” in the literal sense. Really, though, it’s an altruistic goal because as I develop into the real “Sunny” that I am meant to be, the more I will shine and have positive impact on the world.

And here’s a geat passage from Andrew Cohen:

“The authentic self within the individual is not separate from the creative impulse that initiated this whole evolving universe, and it has its own agenda. The agenda of the authentic self is not the agenda of the personal separate self-sense. At times it may seem like your agenda, but in the end there’s nothing personal about that pure, passionate aspiration to awaken, to create, to become, to evolve. When the awakening human being experiences that urge at the level of consciousness, that’s the very same impulse that created this universe becoming aware of itself and awakening to its own deepest desire, which is to become conscious. If you really understand this, then you will begin to recognize how absolutely meaningful is your own aspiration to awaken. You will see the precious significance of even the barest murmurings of your own struggle to become conscious.”

year of “Me” (sounds selfish doesn’t it!)
I suppose I should note how January went.

I think in general it went well.
I progressed in my running. I have had no new injuries! (whoo Hoo).
I’ve cookeed several good meals, usually involving fish.
My house is getting cleaner and more organized.
I have a new “friend” that might turn into something “more”
I managed to have perfect attendance at work, which is good for my paycheck, and my performance review.
I’ve lost 9 pounds….still have that pesky one to lose…and then 10 more!
I’ve been reading lots, and interesting things.
SO, so far, it’s been pretty good.

I need to work more on:
getting my dog to be a little more consistent…
finances
being more social…
but for one month, I think it’s going well. Much better than last year at this time!

Mostly just a good reminder for me to do things that will make me happier and healthier. A place for me to post some accomplishments and disappointments that may or may not relate directly to my goals.
Some things that I do not have “goals” listed include:
Keep being a good ChemoAngel to my essentially silent ChemoAngel Buddy a 13 yr old Girl.

Support my Mother more as her Mother ages.

etc….those are the two that come to mind.