lose two jean sizes

sighhhhhhhhh i’m going to the scale tomorrow.

that scares me.

i shouldn’t hate myself so much, especially for things that are in the past.

i am in control. right?
i can do this.
i can do this.

eat to live not live to eat.
only when i’m hungry, and even then i should repress.

must try harder. must try harder. i have done well in the past but then i slipped and now its time to get back in it. it is possible. positive thinking and self control. just do it.

remember all that you’ve ever wanted

god i feel like i’m the fucking little engine that could. except i am nowhere near making it over the hill. i am still at the bottom with the daunting slope looming in front of me.
damn it. what have i done.

this is my life. this is me. i need to be who i want to be.
do it.
i think i can i think i can i think i can