cleansweep my life

Problem points:

1. I scan the restaurant or any place for fear that I might encounter my old classmates. Or my ex.

I don’t really have any problem with them. It’s just that I fantasize meeting my classmates and talking with them about my master’s degree. And I dream of meeting my ex again with a new man holding me by the arm.

And reality is: Still has not pursued my master’s and I don’t have a new relationship yet. See the difference between my fantasy and the truth? I really should work on accepting the truth as it is and not to escape in fantasy.

2. I haven’t told my parents I love them. Or hugged them ever.

They’re not the best of parents, but I still have a tender spot for them. I’m also not perfect anyway. I’ll really try to be vocal about loving them, but I will not really hug them.

It’s awkward because I’m not used to hugging people. Or being hugged. Only my dogs get it. And, I only save it for romance. ^{that is where I’m most comfortable hugging and receiving hugs. haha..}

3. Letting go of a relationship that drags me down. This is quite hard too. I don’t like to offend or hurt people by leaving them even if it’s for my own good.:(

^{Edit: 18/25 for relationships as of 11/22/09}

I’m already ahead with 22 points 20 points!

For a start, I should improve or start on these things:

• Use caffeine less than 3 times a week. This includes tea, coffee, cola and chocolate. This means I have to give up coffee during breakfast 5 times in a week. So this is equivalent to 5 headaches in a week until I got over my caffeine addiction. Hope this is worth it.

• Schedule an appointment with the dentist. My last appointment was about a year ago. My experiences with my dentist have not been a pleasant experience. I recall opening my mouth wide for an hour and trying so much not to drool. Yikes!

• Walk and exercise at least 3 times a week. I’ve been a bit lazy. I ride a jeepney even if my destination is just in the next block. I’m also not really fond of exercise, so this would be new to me.

• Make my nails healthy and look good. I used to get my nails painted every week. Now, it looks dry and ugly because I don’t let it rest for a week before getting it painted for another fresh color.

Physical environment: 17
Well-being: 14
Money: 12
Relationships: 13

+16 points from last week. So things are going a lot better. There are still things I can do to improve my score, like cutting down on sugar and caffeine, clearing out my closets and getting a health examination.

Physical environment: 12
Well-being: 7
Money: 8
Relationships: 12

One week and +12 points. So it’s getting better, but there are still things that keep me awake at night, so I have to get those out of the way. I have no intention of getting up to 100, but the 70-80 range would be great.

Physical environment: 7
Well-being: 5
Money: 6
Relationships: 9

Seems like I have some work to do…

I’ve got alot of work to do, but this puts a map in my hands, and places a star on it that says “you are here”.

I hope to gain more enthusiasm for this as I go along. I don’t think it’s exactly designed for college students… so my money section isn’t too meaningful right now. Graduating from college and starting at a recording school in June will be a huge transition, and hopefully I can keep some of these goals in mind through that and come out on top.

current scores…
Physical environment: 10
Well-being: 15
Money: 7
Relationships: 11
total: 43 (umm… spooky?)

I should probably come up with a short-term goal for this. I’m not too keen on having a goal sitting around my account for 5 years or more.

Scores
Physical Enviroment 19
Well Being 23
Money 19
Relationships 15
total 76

I have made no headway! And yet I refuse to give up! I always have the best of intentions. I feel like Calvin on the sled at the top of the hill…I think my brain is trying to kill me.

enviroment 12
well being 15
money 12
relationships 15

total 54