To me resolutions are more than a goal. They are feelings. They are reflections on the past and how you’d like the future to be different. They are inspired. You are resolved to them. You are resolute in spirit and action; undaunted and unwavering.
I have some of my goals listed on 43 Things. Some things that I do want to address in 2007, like drinking more water, knitting socks and making homemade ravioli are listed there and I write about them and work through them there. I’m grateful for 43things because it keeps me focused.
My resolutions though…they feel different than a 43things entry.
Plan family days: We have been doing this but I’d like to see them happen a little more regularly. Usually we all agree on what to do but I think we’re going to start taking turns. Max and Sam may choose for us all to play video games and Kevin might pick horseback riding. Nobody will like what I pick initially but then later they’ll admit it wasn’t that bad. :)
Christmas each month: Cook something to test it, make something, wrap something, maintain addresses for cards…you get the gist. This year I don’t know why I waited till December to even consider what I was making or giving to people. I tested a couple of recipes I didn’t like. I tried to make a project but didn’t have room to improve upon it so gave up. There is no reason why I couldn’t have done any of this prior to December. I think that in the past I’ve always been scared of Christmas like it’s going to kick my ass or something. But after this year where I not only did Christmas, but threw a party and planned for vacation AND mailed out Christmas cards…I think I did a kickass job. I’m not scared anymore. This isn’t like the old days where I showed up late on Christmas morning with unwrapped presents and said, “Here.”
Birthdays: I want to be on top of this too. I like the idea of thinking about someone in advance and intentionally focusing on them and what they would like. Even sending birthday cards to people that are far away. I want to be that person. Sometimes events can feel like obligations when I am short on time. I want them to always feel like celebrations. During the Christmas rush a couple weeks ago I had to go to the post office and I found myself dreading it. I caught myself and thought that I’m not just going to the post office. I am sending a package to someone I love and spreading holiday cheer. This is a treat! I want to bring that attitude to birthdays.
Make the kids’ rooms ideal for them: I know there are basic things that need to be done. Sam wants some furniture moved back to Kevin’s parents storage facility and he wants our old queen size bed. But this is more than that. I know Max would like a whole Arabian Nights themed room and I’d love to make that happen for him.
Try something new each month: This could be a new place to visit, a new restaurant or new food to try. I probably do this already because I get bored easily. Or maybe I don’t do it already and just think I do. I guess I’ll find out.
Decorate something once a month: I’ve lived here for a year and the downstairs bathroom is pretty much empty. So whether it’s a room or a shelf I resolve to put some spirit in my home and make it ours. Hell maybe I’ll even hang something on the wall!!! GASP
And now for less “to-do’s” and more to-be’s:
Stop putting myself last: Kevin and I had a discussion yesterday about martyrdome. If I call someone a martyr it’s because they chose to put themselves last and be a martyr and then they tell everyone how they suffered. In fact I just looked it up and Wikipedia has:
“Outside of an academic or religious context, the word “martyr” is used ironically in casual conversation to refer to someone who seeks attention or sympathy by exaggerating the impact upon themselves of some deprivation or work.”
My mom had martyr tendencies. I resolved long ago not to do that. My choices are my own. However Kevin said that he thought a martyr was a martyr whether or not they complained. Obviously that is not the general understanding according to wikipedia but what if what he really means is that whether or not they complain out loud it’s still no fun to be around someone who does not put themselves first ever? How authentic is that person being?
There has to be balance here. For a long time I’ve cooked meals that make my family happy. Kevin makes jokes about “Love is when your vegetarian girlfriend is grilling steak.” I figure it’s cheaper to feed them their food than try to make them happy with vegetarian options. It’s also a hell of a lot easier. Sam however…my sensitive Sam…has pointed out that it’s not right that I never cook for me. Everyone agrees that once a week I should cook a meal that makes me happy and that they will gladly eat it without complaint.
This is a good example of what I’m trying to say because by putting myself first in this example they benefit too. They’ll be eating healthier and trying new foods that they might decide they like. This applies to other areas of life with other people. By sharing ourselves and being who we really are we are able to interact with others in a whole new way. It becomes less one sided and this is what I want to focus on in 2007.
Happy New Year everyone!
