Find my Lifetime friendships and nurture them

I’m reading an excellent book called The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz [the same person who wrote the 4 Agreements]. In it, he describes the perfect relationship as the one that we have with dogs. These relationships are perfect because the dog and the owner accepts each other unconditionally. The dog loves the owner as she is and the owner loves everything the dog is. And when either of them has a bad day, neither takes it personally. They don’t try to change each other, they simply accept the other as they truly are.

And there’s no dramas because there’s no expectations. Just love. I mentally went through all the relationships in my life, asking myself if I genuinely accept each person as they are, not as I want them to be. And the answer that came back to me was Yes to all of them except for my parents and myself. I tried, but couldn’t set my foot over the threshold for these three relationships. My dream for the three of us is still floating in me, even though I know that this is only my dream.

I am glad that I can accept everyone else in my life unconditionally, and I like this way of looking at relationships. It strips away the dramas and the heartache. It also means that I need to be really, really clear on what I want so that I know what to look for [if what I want is a German Sheppard, then I have to make sure I don’t bring home a Golden Retriever], and I’m getting clearer all the time. I know now that I need to be with people who are whole, who aren’t looking for another person to complete them. They’re already happy with themselves and take responsibility for their lives. This leads to kindness, thoughtfulness and compassion.

I’ve been really focusing on this…trying to renew friendships, so far so good…

Just 2 days ago, my bestfriend Alma stayed with us for a week, wow it was rejuvenating for us, catching up with the latest news, reminiscing the good old days and articulating our career plans…it’s good to be able to converse with someone like her, she’s one of a kind.

I love my dear friend!

There’s a theme that runs through all the people that I’ve admired in my life and held close to me: they’re all gentle souls who loved themselves and cared for others. They all liked who they were and allowed others to be. They always spoke kindly and looked toward the positives. I love these qualities in people. Anyone who has the strength to love themselves genuinely is someone I want to get to know. Knowing this, I now have a road map to guide me in all my future relationships. When I meet someone new, I’ll hold up my map and think “Does this person fit?”

I’m starting to get the feel for who might stick around and become a lifetime friend. They’re the ones who are always around being supportive regardless of whether they’re recognized for it – they’re just happy to be a friend. They relish in other people’s achievements and see the positive in their failures. When you fall they pick you up with a soft smile that says they understand and it reassure that things will get better. These lifetime people, they radiate a warm glow. And they genuinely listen.