be more british

“This England never did, nor never shall,
Lie at the proud foot of a conqueror.”

- William Shakespeare

I felt really proud when I read this, because unlike probably any other country on the planet we’ve never been ruled by a foreign power. Before anyone mentions the Romans, we weren’t conquered by them we were merely being polite and showing some hospitality. Also in 40AD or whatever it was we were hardly a nation, just a collection of feudal kingdoms.

I’ve made a little progress on this ‘thing’, although I was quite British to begin with. I’ve improved my accent (it’s now ridiculously British), grammar and politeness ever so slightly.

As for reviving the British Empire, I’ve organised a small band of patriotic rebels to infiltrate all major governments. When the time comes, they will preform a quick and elegant coup d’etat and declare me as supreme overload of the world. Don’t worry as I intend to be a benevolent ruler the likes of which the world has never seen. Also I impervious to corruption despite this nugget of wisdom ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely’.

Traits of a typical british bloke:
-enjoys ironic jokes
-eccentric/quarky
-polite
-charming
-has a stiff upper lip
-proud
-discretely outrageous, this is an oxymoron
-clever/witty

2007’s going to my britishtess year ever.