accept my age

I know this will sound silly, but I’m nervous about getting older. I’m only 19 now and I know I shouldn’t be thinking about being “old” so soon, but I can’t help it. When I was in high school, I didn’t care about age and my age was just some number that was involuntarily placed onto me by some higher power. I knew I was not going to be able to change my age, so I decided that it really was nothing to pay attention to. Now that I’m 19 and graduated from college, I’ve become more and more aware of the fact that I Am Getting Older! Its scary…and I can’t figure out why… What’s so wrong with being older? And why should I be afraid to tell someone that I’m turning 20? Its so silly, this stigma that we have that says that women are not attractive unless they are youthful.

I’m 19 and having a “before life crisis”...but hey, its better that I have it now, so that when I’m 40…I would have accepted the fact that I’m 40 and if anything…would have long embraced the fact. So here’s to living and having adventures and not worrying about what other people think ^-.

Why is it that we (especially we women) put such stock in giving the impression that we are younger than we are? Why don’t I want to admit that I am 40? Is it that I haven’t done enough with my life yet to be 40? Is it that I don’t want to admit that I’m not “young” anymore?

I’m proud of what I’ve done so far with my life (when I actually sit down and think about it), but I know there are a whole bunch of things that I didn’t achieve yet, and would like to have by this point in my life.

And then there is the physical side of things… Is that really me in the mirror now???!!!! My body isn’t the same as when I was in my 20s or even in my 30s, and somehow this is not so easy to accept. I guess I still want to turn heads (just one or two would be nice!) – it’s a great boost to the ego – and accepting that this will happen less and less, is hard. It’s not that I’ve ever been very trendy or trying to be more youthful than I am. I didn’t actually celebrate my youth when I had it – it was just who I was then.

I know this is typical mid-life crisis stuff. Anyone else out there having the same issues right now? Have any solutions for how to accept no longer being as young as you want to be?